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Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.30

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v. 30
It is commonly considered by many that the university students should focus on learning courses which have broad scope in the future such as the Science and Technology. However, others tend to oppose this idea and believe that the youngsters should take courses of their own choice. In my opinion, we do not know how the future job market will look like and therefore, people should focus on what they are passionate about. On the one side, those who opine that students should learn subjects related to the Science and technology can easily point out its importance in the real life. That is to say, nowadays, people are completely dependant upon the electronic gadgets such as the mobile phones to communicate with the society, vehicles to commute, heating equipments to survive in the cold weather. Thus, it means the technology has become an essential necessity in the life and therefore, everyone should know its usage to make their life easy, otherwise they would end up wasting their time and energy. On the other hand, giving the opportunity to the youngsters to choose their higher education according to their wish has various advantages. Firstly, it is high likely for students to become successful if they love, what they are doing. To exemplify, Mark Zuckerberg, the CEO of the Facebook, become successful at the age of 19 because he was passionate about software development which makes him choose the computer Science and Engineering as his majors in the university. Secondly, the vast majority of people are just guessing about Science and technology being the future of job market as there is no written evidence to support this statement. Thus, we as a society should encourage people to choose what they are passionate about, instead of forcing them to pursue their education in the field of Science. To conclude, although taking Science as a major course in the university education seems beneficial due to its importance in the real life. However, it can hamper the success of an individual and therefore should be considered precisely before choosing it.
It is
commonly
considered by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that the university students should focus on learning courses which have broad scope in the future such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
.
However
, others tend to oppose this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and believe that the youngsters should take courses of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice. In my opinion, we do not know how the future job market will look like and
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should focus on what they are passionate about.

On the one side, those who opine that students should learn subjects related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can
easily
point out its importance in the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
That is
to say, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are completely
Possible spelling mistake found.
dependant
upon the electronic gadgets such as the mobile phones to communicate with the society, vehicles to commute, heating equipments to survive in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
weather.
Thus
, it means the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has become an essential necessity in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
therefore
, everyone should know its usage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easy,
otherwise
they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up wasting their time and energy.

On the other hand
, giving the opportunity to the youngsters to choose their higher education according to their wish has various advantages.
Firstly
, it is high likely for students to become successful if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, what they are doing. To exemplify, Mark Zuckerberg, the CEO of the Facebook, become successful at the age of 19
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he was passionate about software development which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
him choose the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and Engineering as his majors in the university.
Secondly
, the vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
guessing about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
being the future of job market as there is no written evidence to support this statement.
Thus
, we as a society should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to choose what they are passionate about,
instead
of forcing them to pursue their education in the field of Science.

To conclude
, although taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
as a major course in the university education seems beneficial due to its importance in the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, it can hamper the success of an individual and
therefore
should
be considered
precisely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
choosing it.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v. 30

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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