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Some People Think That All University Students Should Study Whatever They Like

Some People Think That All University Students Should Study Whatever They Like 26N5X
Some people feel that all college students should study subjects they are interested in, while others claim that only the ones that will benefit their future should be allowed. I agree with the former viewpoint because students can increase the likelihood of having a successful career if they study subjects they like. On the one hand, it is a good investment for students to study courses that will be useful in the future. Many people take on huge student loans to go to college. By earning a technology-related degree, for example, they can increase their chances of getting high-paying jobs, since tech giants such as Google and Facebook have high demand for this type of talent. In this way, they can pay off their debts and even go on to live a comfortable material life. However, I think not everyone is talented in technology. If they are forced to study related disciplines, they may fail to graduate, which would be a great waste of their college loans. On the other hand, those pursuing subjects they have a passion for are more likely to succeed in their careers. When a student is truly passionate about what they study, they will put in more effort than their peers, and be more likely to become expert (Here, “expert” is an adjective. ) in those subject areas. Therefore, I think all university students should have the freedom to pursue their passion in college so that every one of them can have the opportunity to become successful in the career they love. In conclusion, although studying disciplines that will be useful in the future may be a good investment, I believe all students should follow their passion when choosing a major because this can improve their chances of career success.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that all college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
they
are interested
in, while others claim that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the ones that will benefit their future should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former viewpoint
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can increase the likelihood of having a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
they like.

On the one hand, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
investment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
courses that will be useful in the future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take on huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
loans to go to college. By earning a technology-related degree,
for example
, they can increase their chances of getting high-paying jobs, since tech giants such as Google and Facebook have high demand for this type of talent. In this way, they can pay off their debts and even go on to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a comfortable material life.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
not everyone
is talented
in technology. If they
are forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
related disciplines, they may fail to graduate, which would be a great waste of their college loans.

On the other hand
, those pursuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
they have a passion for are more likely to succeed in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is
truly
passionate about what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, they will put in more effort than their peers, and be more likely to become expert (Here, “expert” is an adjective.
Loose punctuation mark.
)
in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
areas.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
all university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should have the freedom to pursue their passion in college
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that every one of them can have the opportunity to become successful in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.

In conclusion
, although studying disciplines that will be useful in the future may be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
investment, I believe all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should follow their passion when choosing a major
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their chances of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
success.
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IELTS essay Some People Think That All University Students Should Study Whatever They Like

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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