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Some people believe the responsibility education be born only by the government and that private education should be banned.what are advantages of banning private education?

Some people believe the responsibility education be born only by the government and that private education should be banned. what are advantages of banning private education? mLaLL
Education plays a very vital role for people. Few individuals think education should be provided by government. But other think, private institute should be closed for students. Some points their view for private schools. which is helpful for discuss in upcoming paragraph First and foremost, if private institution will banned in nations. then there are several advantages behind it. poor people can get good education which is provided by government. School will not discrimination between rich and poverty of students. Also, pupils will complete their study they can easily get good opportunities of jobs. because there will be equal quality for students However, private school are various merits. because there is lot of competition between private and government schools. That's why it has competitive environment. Like improvement skills and their collect information about competition. Private schools have online studies method ay any time. whereas, government school has study method does only in school time In conclusion, private and government education should be needed. but, government should be improve in study method both public and private play their own time.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital role for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Few individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
be provided
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
institute should
be closed
for students.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
points their view for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
is helpful for discuss in upcoming paragraph

First
and foremost, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
institution will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "ban"
banned
in nations.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
then
there are several advantages behind it. poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
which
is provided
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
will not discrimination between rich and poverty of students.
Also
, pupils will complete their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
they can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunities of jobs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
there will be equal quality for
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
students


However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are various merits.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
there is
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
competition between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. That's why it has competitive environment. Like improvement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and their collect information about competition.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
method
Possible spelling mistake found.
ay
any time.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whereas
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
method does
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
time

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
be needed
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be
Consider using the past participle "improved"?
improve
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
method both public and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
play their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
time.
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IELTS essay Some people believe the responsibility education be born only by the government and that private education should be banned. what are advantages of banning private education?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
179 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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