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Some people think that advertising targeting children should be banned.

Some people think that advertising targeting children should be banned. kq62
Some people think that advertising targeting children should be banned. Others, however, think that they should not be banned. Discuss both views and give your opinion. In generally, advertising is a good way to attract costumers attention to sell your product more. A number of parents reckon that advertising targeting kids are more dangerous than the other ones and should be eliminated as soon as possible. Because they think that can influence children both mentally and pyhsically. However, i reckon it is not true. It can be harmful for the children, on the other hand, children could learn useful information from the adversitement. Such as how to manage their time, boost up their motivation from the enlightenment advertisements. Other parents are more lenient about that. They might think it is not that good, however they do not reckon it is untoward. In my opinion advertising which targeting juvenility can be harmed occasionally. In this case, the children could either lose their controls or motivations. The child who has influenced by an advertisement, can be isolated, may not be extrovert person. this can lead to many harmful things. To conclude, i think advertisement should not be banned, on the other hand should not targeting only children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
targeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be banned
. Others,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that they should not
be banned
. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In
generally
, advertising is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to attract costumers attention to sell your product more.

A number of parents reckon that advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
targeting
kids are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ones and should
be eliminated
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that can influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
both mentally and
Possible spelling mistake found.
pyhsically
.
However
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
reckon it is not true. It can be harmful for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could learn useful information from the
Possible spelling mistake found.
adversitement
. Such as how to manage their time, boost up their motivation from the enlightenment advertisements.

Other parents are more lenient about that. They might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it is not that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
however
they do not reckon it is untoward.

In my opinion advertising which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
targeting
Possible spelling mistake found.
juvenility
can
be harmed
occasionally
.
In this case
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
could either lose their controls or motivations. The child who has influenced by an advertisement, can
be isolated
, may not be extrovert person.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
harmful things.

To conclude
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
advertisement should not
be banned
, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand should not
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "target"
targeting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that advertising targeting children should be banned.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
205 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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