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Some people think that advertisement is extremely successful at convincing us to buy things

Some people think that advertisement is extremely successful at convincing us to buy things YRnEK
Some people think that advertisement is extremely successful at convincing us to buy things, while other believe that it is so common that we no longer give any importance to it. In my view, advertisement is so common that we no longer pay any attention to it. Overall, an advertisements which are personlized according to person are very successful at convincing the people. However, we find advertisement it as usual and move on to our ongoing task. On the one hand, Advertising is highly effective at convincing people to buy things. With help of technology, social media compnies are showing the personalized advertise to the users. They personalized the advertisement according to what user has searched and where user is going. For example, if we search the resort near a beach on Google, then Google starts showing the advertisement of sunglasses. On the other hand, Advertisement is so common that we no longer consider it as important and just skip it. For example, when we play the video on youtube, it shows the advertisement before every video, but we just skip it in 4 seconds and move on to our video. An email containing an advertisement are no longer treated as important and some times our mailbox automatically marked it as a spam. On some websites, there are so many boards which display the advertisement that out attention is divided among them and we no longer treat any of them as an important. In conclusion, although advertisement which are specific to person are effective, we no longer pay attention to it and continue on our ongoing task.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is
extremely
successful at convincing us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things, while other believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
common that we no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
give any importance to it.

In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
common that we no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
pay any attention to it.
Overall
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
which are
Possible spelling mistake found.
personlized
according to person are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successful at convincing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
However
, we find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
it as usual and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on to our ongoing task.

On the one hand, Advertising is
highly
effective at convincing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things. With
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of technology, social media
Possible spelling mistake found.
compnies
are showing the personalized
The word 'advertise' is a verb. Did you mean the noun "advertisement"?
advertise
to the users. They personalized the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
according to what user has searched and where user is going.
For example
, if we search the resort near a beach on Google, then Google
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
showing the
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
sunglasses.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
common that we no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
consider it as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
skip it.
For example
, when we play the video on
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtube
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
every video,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
skip it in 4 seconds and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on to our video. An email containing an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
are no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
treated as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times our mailbox
automatically
marked it as a spam. On
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
websites, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
boards which display the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
that out attention
is divided
among
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
we no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
treat any of them as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
which are specific to person are effective, we no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
longer
pay attention to it and continue on our ongoing task.
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IELTS essay Some people think that advertisement is extremely successful at convincing us to buy things

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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