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In this contemporary world, people are increasingly concerned about healthy and convenience lifestyles due to the lack to time in their busy schedules

In this contemporary world, people are increasingly concerned about healthy and convenience lifestyles due to the lack to time in their busy schedules obPpg
In this contemporary world, people are increasingly concerned about healthy and convenience lifestyles due to the lack to time in their busy schedules. As a result, various companies understand this issue so they provides a convenience foods to satisfy the needed of people. Personally, while innumerable peole agree with this phenomenon, I wholeheartedly discourage this could have adversely impacts in the long run. Initially, there are some noticeable catalysts which may be the main reasons behind the rise of this trend. To be more specific, due to development of technology and science in the last decade, which offer ability of a massive produce to processed foods and beverages in the short interval with reasonable investment, therefor can create a huge number in profits in this industry, which boots the expansion tremendously. The second worth- mentioning reason is the demand of people of processed and convenience foods, in this modern world people’s are extremely busy with their work and personal life, so they more likely to choose what services or products are less consuming time, as a result they can ultilize that time to spend to another significantly tasks comprises complete work in office or built closer relationships whith family members. However in long run, this trend can progressively leading to sedentary lifestyles, and those who following this lifestyle might run a higher risk of cardiovascular diseases and obesity. Additionally, if people known cooking skill, they tend to have better balance diet, which directly contributes to thrive physical health and well-being. Last but not least, while people sharing experience of cooking together with family member, relationships between people is tend to tigher, and in particular culture cooking and enjoy metls together can consideration a valuable traditional, which worth to preservation and pass generation to generation. In conclusion, taking all into consideration, whether convenience foods can modification the traditional foods and methods of preparation or not is still a controversial issue. While some people agree because they believed this trend will continue rise based on their mind set. I hold firm belief that traditional of various cultures such as cooking together is still maintaining in the future.
In this contemporary world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
increasingly
concerned about healthy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convenience
lifestyles due to the lack to time in their busy schedules.
As a result
, various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
understand this issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "provide"
provides
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
to satisfy
The phrase 'the needed of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the needed of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Personally
, while innumerable
Possible spelling mistake found.
peole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this phenomenon, I
wholeheartedly
discourage this could have
adversely
impacts in the long run.

Initially
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
noticeable catalysts which may be the main reasons behind the rise of this trend. To be more specific, due to development of technology and science in the last decade, which offer ability of a massive produce to processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and beverages in the short interval with reasonable investment, therefor can create a huge number in profits in this industry, which boots the expansion
tremendously
. The second worth- mentioning reason is the demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of processed and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, in this modern world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
are
extremely
busy with their work and personal life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they more likely to choose what services or products are less consuming time,
as a result
they can
Possible spelling mistake found.
ultilize
that time to spend to another
significantly
tasks comprises complete work in office or built closer relationships
Possible spelling mistake found.
whith
family members.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
in long run, this trend can
progressively
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "lead"
leading
to sedentary lifestyles, and those who following this lifestyle might run a higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of cardiovascular diseases and obesity.
Additionally
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
known cooking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, they tend to have better balance diet, which
directly
contributes to thrive physical health and well-being. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
sharing experience of cooking together with family member, relationships between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
tend to
Possible spelling mistake found.
tigher
, and
in particular
culture cooking and enjoy
Possible spelling mistake found.
metls
together can consideration a valuable traditional, which worth to preservation and pass generation to generation.

In conclusion
, taking all into consideration, whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
can modification the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
and methods of preparation or not is
still
a controversial issue. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believed this trend will continue rise based on their mind set. I hold firm belief that traditional of various cultures such as cooking together is
still
maintaining in the future.
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IELTS essay In this contemporary world, people are increasingly concerned about healthy and convenience lifestyles due to the lack to time in their busy schedules

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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