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Advantages and disadvantages of telling children everything is achievable by trying hard

Advantages and disadvantages of telling children everything is achievable by trying hard y73Xl
The overall quality of our life as well as how satisfied we are can depend on numerous elements, including the approaches we opt for reaching our goals which there has recently been a trend for some cultures that believe their youngsters should strive until being able to attain their goals. this message serves well as an inspiration for them, yet it could have a negative impact on them as well. in the following paragraphs I will discuss the plausible benefits and drawbacks of it. First, the great benefit that this belief can bring about should never be easily ignored. That is, due to being motivated and passionate, elders' advising is the main factor in their success. Since children have listened to their advice can better manage their lifestyle in various phases of life. furthermore, although they should work hard, and put in a lot of time and energy, a sense of accomplishment can compensate for all the hardships. University entrance exams, as an example, having experienced the though condition of studying hard, the result of it can bring happiness for them. However, despite the profits that referred above, it has some certain downsides. Indeed, the possibility of not being successful in a special field can make them discouraged from continuing the other aspects of life. Given the possible threats which exist in such belief, the type of advice should be in line with most familial psychologists' attitudes. moreover, if some of them did not have the aptitude in a field, it would be time-consuming. An illustration here is most developing countries, they enforce their youngsters to continue their academic life which results in the society being over-saturate, also some of them are not able to find a decent job after graduation. in conclusion, I think inducing endeavoring notions for their aims makes it vital that we identify the advantages along with disadvantages. Being passionate, having a positive feeling of achieving a goal alongside the feeling of discouragement, and wasting time can illustrate the benefits and drawbacks of this. Unless children pursued their interests, they would not be prosperous.
The
overall
quality of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as well
as how satisfied we are can depend on numerous elements, including the approaches we opt for reaching our goals which there has recently been a trend for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cultures that believe their youngsters should strive until being able to attain their goals.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
message serves well as an inspiration for them,
yet
it could have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on them
as well
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the following paragraphs I will discuss the plausible benefits and drawbacks of it.

First
, the great benefit that this belief can bring about should never be
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
That is
, due to
being motivated
and passionate, elders' advising is the main factor in their success.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
children have listened to their advice can better manage their lifestyle in various phases of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furthermore
, although they should work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, and put in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and energy, a sense of accomplishment can compensate for all the hardships. University entrance exams, as an example, having experienced the though condition of studying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, the result of it can bring happiness for them.

However
, despite the profits that referred above, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain downsides.
Indeed
, the possibility of not being successful in a special field can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them discouraged from continuing the other aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the possible threats which exist in such belief, the type of advice should be in line with most familial psychologists' attitudes.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them did not have the aptitude in a field, it would be time-consuming. An illustration here is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
, they enforce their youngsters to continue their academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which results in the society being over-saturate,
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them are not able to find a decent job after graduation.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
conclusion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
inducing endeavoring notions for their aims
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it vital that we identify the advantages along with disadvantages. Being passionate, having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
feeling of achieving a goal alongside the feeling of discouragement, and wasting time can illustrate the benefits and drawbacks of this. Unless children pursued their interests, they would not be prosperous.
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IELTS essay Advantages and disadvantages of telling children everything is achievable by trying hard

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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