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Major countries nowadays face traffic problem. Describe situation in your country and possible ways to overcome in. v.1

Major countries nowadays face traffic problem. Describe situation in your country and possible ways to overcome in. v. 1
In the recent years, it is observed that the difficulty level for wheels moving on public highways have increased to a great extent, in almost every country around the world. However, Pakistan has not excluded from the list of countries, facing vehicles, congestion on the roads. The solid collaboration, of the Government and community is needed to solve this disturbing problem. To begin with, just like many other countries, the increased number of vehicles on the roads is the biggest obstacle for Pakistan as well. The increased count of transportation is the major cause of traffic jams in big cities. People prefer to use personal conveyance, to the daily commute because it's more convenient as compared to public transport. Taking Pakistan as an example, a research revealed that, the number of freights on the highways has increased to 60 percent in a limited time period of five years and this amount is increasing. Secondly the poor infrastructure of movement routes is also a major problem in all cities of Pakistan. The road system is not sufficient to carry heavy transport load, thus, result in traffic jams. This problem arises due to the negligence of the Government and the responsible highway authorities. The Government and general public commitment are needed to overcome these commuting problems. First of all, it's the Government's responsibility to improve the road infrastructure, by implementing the projects of building the sufficient road system in big cities. These new projects are supervised by higher Government institutes so that there is less chance of mismanagement and corruption. Moreover, strict cartage controls should be formed by the Empire, so that hassle on the roads can be reduced. Public responsibility is to follow these transportation laws and order properly and also use public transport, it will also help in eliminating traffic congestion on the roads. In the end, i would like to conclude that traffic congestion and rare commuting facilities are the main challenges faced by many nations. The responsible government and society can cooperate and work hard to decrease these problems.
In the recent years, it
is observed
that the difficulty level for wheels moving on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
highways have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
to a great extent, in almost every country around the world.
However
,

Pakistan has not excluded from the list of countries, facing vehicles, congestion on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. The solid collaboration, of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
and community
is needed
to solve this disturbing problem.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other countries, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
number of vehicles on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
is the biggest obstacle for Pakistan
as well
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
count of transportation is the major cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
personal conveyance, to the daily commute
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it's more convenient as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport. Taking Pakistan as an example,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
revealed that, the number of freights on the highways has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
to 60 percent in a limited time period of five years and this amount is increasing.
Secondly
the poor infrastructure of movement routes is
also
a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in all cities of Pakistan. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
system is not sufficient to carry heavy transport load,
thus
, result in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
arises due to the negligence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
and the responsible highway authorities.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
and general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
commitment
are needed
to overcome these commuting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it's the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
's responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
infrastructure, by implementing the projects of building the sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
system in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities. These new projects
are supervised
by higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
institutes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that there is less chance of mismanagement and corruption.
Moreover
, strict cartage controls should
be formed
by the Empire,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that hassle on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
responsibility is to follow these transportation laws and order
properly
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport, it will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in eliminating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion on the roads.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like
to conclude
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion and rare commuting facilities are the main challenges faced by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations. The responsible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and society can cooperate and work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to decrease these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Major countries nowadays face traffic problem. Describe situation in your country and possible ways to overcome in. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
341 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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