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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.27

The importance of competition among the growing children is still a debated topic as some people support it as a tool of motivation while others deny it. In this essay, I would like to recount the details of the perspective of both with relevant examples. On one hand, a sense of competition has been inhibited in children's minds at a young age by parents and educational institutions to promote their progress in life. It stimulates their brain activity which in return improves their overall performance in both academic and extracurricular activities. It also encourages them to be responsible and motivates them to achieve their goals. For instance, students tend to participate in an essay writing competition in school to win prizes. As a result, they are encouraged to develop their command over the language. On the other hand, the persona of co-operative people provides a huge impact on an individual rather than being competitive. This aspect dominates the drawbacks of competitive nature in terms of mental and emotional wellbeing. By being co-operative, children can be successful in a group and also as an individual. It promotes social responsibility and induces the attitude of taking care of people around them. For example, Sports like football demand coordination among them to defeat the opponent and individual games will fail them as a group. In my opinion, it is vital to indulge both the qualities to lead an optimistic life in children's minds. It is also necessary to monitor their progress as their excess competitive nature might disturb the other children's progress and affects them mentally and physically. To conclude, both co-operation and competitive character play a major role to make them productive adults in the future and each aspect recieves special attention.
The importance of competition among the growing children is
still
a debated topic as
some
people
support it as a tool of motivation while others deny it. In this essay, I would like to recount the
details
of the perspective of both with relevant examples.

On one hand, a sense of competition has
been inhibited
in children's minds at a young age by parents and educational institutions to promote their progress in life. It stimulates their brain activity which in return
improves
their
overall
performance in both academic and extracurricular activities. It
also
encourages them to be responsible and motivates them to achieve their goals.
For instance
, students tend to participate in an essay writing competition in school to win prizes.
As a result
, they
are encouraged
to develop their command over the language.

On the other hand
, the persona of co-operative
people
provides a huge impact on an individual
rather
than being
competitive
. This aspect dominates the drawbacks of
competitive
nature in terms of mental and emotional wellbeing. By being co-operative, children can be successful in a group and
also
as an individual. It promotes social responsibility and induces the attitude of taking care of
people
around them.
For example
, Sports like football demand coordination among them to defeat the opponent and individual games will fail them as a group.

In my opinion, it is vital to indulge both the qualities to lead an optimistic life in children's minds. It is
also
necessary to monitor their progress as their excess
competitive
nature might disturb the other children's progress and affects them mentally and
physically
.

To conclude
, both co-operation and
competitive
character play a major role to
make
them productive adults in the future and each aspect
recieves
special attention.
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IELTS essay : Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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