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Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees who are from poor countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.10

Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees who are from poor countries. v. 10
Some people believe that developed countries should permit qualified job seekers who are from developing and underdeveloped countries, however, some others argue that it does not necessarily have to impose that discretion. This is not a trivial question to answer. Personally, I agree that there should be such permission for finding jobs from wealthy regions for workers who are originally from poor regions based on national cooperation in encountering poverty and mutual advantages point of views. To begin with, fighting poverty is an international responsibility, thus there should be some cooperative efforts between rich and poor regions. Since unemployment may be a major concern triggering poverty in destitute areas, one solution to overcome this problem is by creating a joint-partnership with rich countries that have to allow workers who meet the requirement of skills and knowledge to work. By applying this discretion, skilled employees from poor areas can be harnessed to run work effectively and they also may learn and gain experiences of how working in a progressive area and can bring back this experience to their origin for improvement. Furthermore, employing required and talented people from deprived regions can contribute to a mutual advantage between prosperous and poor cities. For successful cities, this idea can help increase their regional income as knowledgeable human resources are available to operate their factory and other occupation. Meanwhile, for deprived cities, it will help coping with poverty because skilled citizens can elevate their earnings to accomplish better life ahead. Nature of business and globalisation require rich nations to have talented individuals from different parts of the world to better understand the customer segments of other nations and to market their products and service properly. Organisation like Google, Microsoft and Samsung already have employees from different countries and other organisations in rich countries should follow this trend as well. All in all, employing skilled and qualified workers from poor regions may be a form of national understanding in tackling poverty as well as sharing mutual benefit between rich and poor countries. Life will have a balance when everything is adequate, is not it?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should permit qualified job seekers who are from developing and underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others argue that it does not
necessarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
impose that discretion. This is not a trivial question to answer.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that there should be such permission for finding jobs from wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
for workers who are
originally
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
based on national cooperation in encountering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and mutual advantages point of views.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, fighting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
is an international responsibility,
thus
there should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cooperative efforts between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
. Since unemployment may be a major concern triggering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
in destitute areas, one solution to overcome this problem is by creating a joint-partnership with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
workers who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the requirement of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge to work. By applying this discretion, skilled employees from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
areas can
be harnessed
to run work
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
effectively and
they
also
may learn and gain experiences of how working in a progressive area and can bring back this experience to their origin for improvement.

Furthermore
, employing required and talented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from deprived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
can contribute to a mutual advantage between prosperous and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
cities. For successful cities, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
increase their regional income as knowledgeable human resources are available to operate their factory and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
occupation. Meanwhile, for deprived cities, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to cope" or "cope".
coping
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
skilled citizens can elevate their earnings to accomplish better life ahead.

Nature of business and
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
nations to have talented individuals from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world to better understand the customer segments of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations and to market their products and service
properly
.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
like Google, Microsoft and Samsung already have employees from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should follow this trend
as well
.

All in all, employing skilled and qualified workers from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
may be a form of national understanding in tackling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
as well
as sharing mutual benefit between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Life will have a balance when everything is adequate, is not it?
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Rich countries should allow jobs for skilled and knowledgeable employees who are from poor countries. v. 10

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
349 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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