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Some people think success in life comes from hard work and determination. Others think money and appearance are more important. Discuss two sides, give opinion

Some people think success in life comes from hard work and determination. Others think money and appearance are more important. Discuss two sides, give opinion jQ5Kd

First and foremost, people should recognize that the secret of success is always trying your best. Determination gives us the motivation to set up goals which become the foundation of success. Einstein once said: “It’s not that I am so smart, it’s that I stay with problems longer. ” Hang in there and never stop striving to be all you can be! . To illustrate my point, the legendary basketball player Michael Jordan was eliminated from the basketball team in high school, but he worked hard practiced and became one of the greatest sports athletes of all time. The example above demonstrates that no successful people find instant success and recognition. It is the result of perseverance and hard work

First
 and foremost, This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 should recognize that the secret of success is always trying your best. Determination gives us the motivation to set up goals which become the foundation of success. Einstein once said: “It’s not that I am This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 smart, it’s that I stay with problems longer. ” Hang in there and never This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :terminateceasediscontinue
stop
 striving to be all you can be! Don't put a space before the full stop.
.
 To illustrate my point, the legendary basketball player Michael Jordan was eliminated
 from the basketball team in high school, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 he worked This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :arduous
hard
 practiced and became one of the greatest sports athletes of all time. The example above demonstrates that no successful This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 find instant success and recognition. It is the result of perseverance and This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :arduous
hard
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work

IELTS essay Some people think success in life comes from hard work and determination. Others think money and appearance are more important. Discuss two sides, give opinion

Essay

American English

1 paragraphs

119 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.5

Answer all parts of the question
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Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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