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Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is assumed by some people that it is necessary to gain knowledge about food and also learn its making process. On the other hand students should emphasize the essential academic subjects in the school. However, both view have distinguished logic about the necessary learning, I would like to describe both aspects in a sensible way and establish my own thinking. On the one hand it can be said that as a perfect human being everyone mus learn every necessary skills. The sxcientific explanation of food items is sound relevant topic to learn. Due to the globalization people are becoming familiar with variety of dishes which have different origin and taste. If students can know the science behind that item and what kinds of benefit and drawbacks of this item, they will be able to explain it in a scietific way. Besides learning food making is one of the major things that help people become a good chef. In other word whenever a student go abroad for higher study he must know cooking and previous knowledge can cooperate him to do it in a perfect way. Todays students will become the future leader of a nation thus they should have distinguish knowledge that can make him a good human being. Onthe other hand it is also important to spend more time to study essential academic outlines because it will help him to get better career opportunity. Most of the people particularly parents focus the career oriented subjects such asmath, Enlish, physics and so on because their chil will become a scientist or doctor or get huge opportunity in oversease. Its obviously necessary for the sake of overall development. A nation expect an expert, competent, skilled young generation whom can bring changes in the country. Consequently every student should learn their major academic learnings since school period. Moreover, school is the fundamenntal place where a student can get the direction of the rest of life. In my assumption I would like to promote both learnings because to get a successful life people should equally study every branch of knowledge. For example in western countries, a kid can do everything in a hand not only academic study but also extra activities such as making own food, purchaning grocery items from super shop etc. They are independent enough. In addition, to become a self-reliant and overall development student should emphasize both sides equally at the same time. To sum up it shoul say people have seperate opinion in various issues alike education, despite it everyone should know what is actually essential development of a student.
It
is assumed
by
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some
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people
that it is
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necessary
to gain
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knowledge
about
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food
and
also
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learn
its making process. On the other
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hand
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students
should emphasize the essential
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academic
subjects in the school.
However
, both view have distinguished logic about the
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necessary
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learning
, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
both aspects in a sensible way and establish my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
thinking.

On the one
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hand
it can
be said
that as a perfect human being everyone mus
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learn
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. The
Possible spelling mistake found.
sxcientific
explanation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
is sound relevant topic to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
. Due to the globalization
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming familiar with variety of dishes which have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
origin and taste. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can know the science behind that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
and what kinds of benefit and drawbacks of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
, they will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
scietific
way.
Besides
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learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
making is one of the major things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chef. In other word whenever a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
go abroad for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
know cooking and previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
can cooperate him to do it in a perfect way.
It seems that a possessive apostrophe is missing.
Todays
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students
will
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become
the future leader of a nation
thus
they should have
Use past participle here: “distinguished”.
distinguish
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knowledge
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
human being.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Onthe
other
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hand
it is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to spend more time to
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study
essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
outlines
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better career opportunity. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
particularly
parents focus the career oriented subjects such
Possible spelling mistake found.
asmath
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Enlish
, physics and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
chil
will
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become
a scientist or doctor or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
huge opportunity in
Possible spelling mistake found.
oversease
. Its
obviously
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necessary
for the sake of
overall
development. A nation
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: “expects”.
expect
an expert, competent, skilled young generation whom can bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the country.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
their major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learnings
since school period.
Moreover
, school is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
fundamenntal
place where a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the direction of the rest of life.

In my assumption I would like to promote both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learnings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a successful life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
every branch of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
For example
in western countries, a kid can do everything in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
extra activities such as making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
purchaning
grocery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
from super shop etc. They are independent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.
In addition
, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a self-reliant and
overall
development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should emphasize both sides
equally
at the same time.

To sum up it
Possible spelling mistake found.
shoul
say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
seperate
opinion in various issues alike education, despite it everyone should know what is actually essential development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
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IELTS essay Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
432 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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