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Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. 18y7
Food has been a central part of our life. Since the birth of mankind, we have relied on food to survive, treat it as enjoyment, or as a platform to communicate with people as we do when we invite friends for meal and chat on the dining table. Some people therefore consider that students should learn more about food and ways to prepare it. However, many others would probably think students should instead learn other important subjects at school. Undeniably food is crucial to us, but considering the modern trend and the purposes of school time, I am inclined to the belief that students have to dedicate themselves to learning other important subjects. It is important to know that we are living in a technologically advanced generation with already different people specializing in different skills and professions. Unlike pre-industrial ages, when people could not travel far away and cook with fast technologies, we now can now take buses or subways to restaurants easier than the previous generations did. Thanks to constant technological innovations particularly after the advent of the twentieth century, the cost of using mass carrying transportations is cheap in general for ordinary citizens. A few minutes ride could already bring you to numerous choices of restaurants. Even if we are away from restaurants, we can even cook by ourselves. Microwaves and automatic cooker enable ones to cook with little knowledge. Adding to this convenience, there are modern inventions like cup noodles which will be ready in minutes after pouring boiling water to the noodles. In other words, countless options are available and accessible for many people even who have insufficient knowledge of cooking. In addition to my argument above, our society now is dramatically specialized compared to the previous ages. Many occupations like bankers, lawyers, and especially IT have been born. These jobs require specific knowledge that could be more sophisticated than cooking. School should be the place therefore for students to attain knowledge and skill bases in order to develop their interests and have a basic understanding of various careers. Provided that the global population is still on the rise, cut-throat competitions across the world will be more inevitable in the future. If one has to succeed and overcome fierce competitions for a job, for instance, an investment banker or an IT programmer, he or she has to brush up particularly math and science subjects during their school time. In consideration of the popularity over these jobs, extra time for studying food will be relatively hard for students who aim for specific job posts or careers as they need plenty of time to study in the respective fields. In the final analysis, schools should be a place for students to discover their interests and study the basics of knowledge, so as to pave their paths to the future they desired. It is certainly unquestionable that food has been an essential part of our life. This importance nevertheless has been able to be complemented without doing it by ourselves but with other assistance, thanks to modern technology. By no means, the school should at once deny the importance of cooking. Some schools in places like Japan still offer cooking lessons for students to let them learn the joy of preparing food, but still the most important aspect of school should be the other subjects.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
has been a central part of our life. Since the birth of mankind, we have relied on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to survive, treat it as enjoyment, or as a platform to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as we do when we invite friends for meal and chat on the dining table.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
therefore
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should learn more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and ways to prepare it.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others would
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
instead
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
subjects at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Undeniably
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is crucial to us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
considering the modern trend and the purposes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I
am inclined
to the belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
dedicate themselves to learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
subjects.

It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to know that we are living in a
technologically
advanced generation with already
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
specializing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and professions. Unlike
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-industrial
ages, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could not travel far away and cook with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
technologies, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
take buses or subways to restaurants easier than the previous generations did. Thanks to constant technological innovations
particularly
after the advent of the twentieth century, the cost of using mass carrying transportations is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
in general
for ordinary citizens. A few minutes ride could already bring you to numerous choices of restaurants. Even if we are away from restaurants, we can even cook by ourselves. Microwaves and automatic cooker enable ones to cook with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
. Adding to this convenience, there are modern inventions like cup noodles which will be ready in minutes after pouring boiling water to the noodles. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, countless options are available and accessible for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even who have insufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of cooking.

In addition
to my argument above, our society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is
dramatically
specialized compared to the previous ages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
occupations like bankers, lawyers, and
especially
IT have
been born
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
require specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
that could be more sophisticated than cooking.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
should be the place
therefore
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to attain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
bases in order to develop their interests and have a basic understanding of various careers. Provided that the global population is
still
on the rise,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
-throat competitions across the world will be more inevitable in the future. If one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
succeed and overcome fierce competitions for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
for instance
, an investment banker or an IT programmer, he or she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
brush up
particularly
math and science subjects during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In consideration of the popularity over these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will be
relatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who aim for specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
posts or careers as they need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to study in the respective fields.

In the final analysis,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should be a place for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to discover their interests and study the basics of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
,
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
pave their paths to the future they desired. It is
certainly
unquestionable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has been an essential part of our life. This importance
nevertheless
has been able to
be complemented
without doing it by ourselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
assistance, thanks to modern technology. By no means, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should at once deny the importance of cooking.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
in places like Japan
still
offer cooking lessons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them learn the joy of preparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
subjects.
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IELTS essay Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
556 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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