Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

some people say that music is a good way of brining people of different cultures and ages together

some people say that music is a good way of brining people of different cultures and ages together npMo
Music can be a medium of source to unite people of various cultures and different ages together. In this essay, I will share my views on this topic. Firstly, I will the various times where music played the major role in uniting people of different rays. Secondly, I will discuss the impact of sound among people of current century. Music have always been a part of our life. From our daily chores in our life that generate sounds which can be recreated into forms of different tunes. There are multiple events where music has boosted our morality and unified people into a single voice. For example, I would like to iterate the ICC WORLD CUP 2011 – FINALS which was held in Mumbai, India. During the final few overs, the whole stadium started to sing Vaate maadharam the National Anthem of India. This was one of the goose pumps movement where the players felt pride for representing their Country. This is one of the trending topics at that time and still players mention in press or interviews. This is one perfect example of uniting people irrespective of culture, language, ages, etc. Nowadays, music plays a vital role in day-to-day life. People embraces sound and indulge themselves in it. Indeed, the impact it created has encouraged young children to show keen interest in the field of music and they voice is supported by the people of the nations. There was another incident which changed the shape of a country was the presidential campaign of the United States of America. Mr. Barack Obama was the front runner for the president of USA. He created a song with the theme unity among different ages and rays that song was telecasted in various medium which indeed boosted his chances with number of votes in his favor and he went on to successfully become the president of the USA. To summarize, music is a tool of unity that can bring joy and harmony across the world. There is no discrimination among any music. In forthcoming days, sound might play a bigger role than we can imagine.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
can be a medium of source to unite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of various cultures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
ages together. In this essay, I will share my views on this topic.
Firstly
, I will the various
It is better to use 'times' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "times when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
times where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
played the major role in uniting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
rays.
Secondly
, I will discuss the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sound
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
century.

Music have always been a part of our life. From our daily chores in our life that generate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sounds
which can
be recreated
into forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
tunes. There are multiple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has boosted our morality and unified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
into a single voice.
For example
, I would like to iterate the ICC WORLD CUP 2011
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
FINALS which
was held
in Mumbai, India. During the final few overs, the whole stadium
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to sing
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vaate
Possible spelling mistake found.
maadharam
the National Anthem of India. This was one of the goose pumps movement where the players felt pride for representing their Country. This is one of the trending topics at that time and
still
players mention in press or interviews.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
This
is one perfect example of uniting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
irrespective of culture, language, ages, etc.

Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
plays a vital role in day-to-day life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
embraces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sound
and indulge themselves in it.
Indeed
, the impact it created has encouraged young children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
keen interest in the field of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
music and
they voice
is supported
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the nations. There was another incident which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the shape of a country was the presidential campaign of the United States of America. Mr. Barack Obama was the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
front runner
for the president
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
. He created a song with the theme unity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
ages and rays that song was
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "telecast", the past tense form of the verb 'telecast'?
telecasted
in various medium which
indeed
boosted his chances with number of votes in his
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
favor and
he went on to
successfully
become the president of the USA.

To summarize
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a tool of unity that can bring joy and harmony across the world. There is no discrimination among any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. In forthcoming days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sound
might play a bigger role than we can imagine.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay some people say that music is a good way of brining people of different cultures and ages together

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • some people say that music is a good way of brining people of different cultures and ages together