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Some people think spending a lot of money on birthday celebrations and weddings is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think spending a lot of money on birthday celebrations and weddings is a waste of money. J0Rkw
Birthday celebrations and weddings are remarkable and unforgettable memories of everyone's life. Youngsters nowadays are spending a hefty sum of money on such celebrations. I believe these celebrations are acceptable unless it becomes a financial burden on them. In this era, where people are under the influence of others, tend to behave like them to gain popularity among others. This is mainly due to the social media platforms like Instagram, Facebook and many more. Youngsters on social media believe that whatever the person has posted is true and in order to do the same, they tend to do the same or better than that to become popular. Moreover, media also plays a vital role in inculcating the importance of celebrations by repeatedly showing them on television and in magazines. Lastly, young people find it pleasing when someone compliments them for an occasion they organized and others enjoyed it. In order to gain popularity and showing off their wealth young people spend a huge amount of money on such recreational and celebratory activities. Looking at the perspective of other groups who argues that such celebrations are just a waste of money and resources, believes that it is not appropriate behaviour to spend a hefty sum to please others and gain popularity. Many a time these celebrations put up great financial stress on the entire family. Due to which they indulge in crime to pay off their debt. Secondly, it is been observed that because of such celebrations invaluable resources like food, electricity are wasted by the people. The same material can be used by poor and needy people who actually needs these. Wasting money on celebrations just to show off is not a good idea. To summarize, it is true that wasting money on such celebrations is not necessary if the person is incapable of spending. However, if he is capable enough and wants others to join his celebration, according to me there is nothing wrong with doing so.
Birthday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
and weddings are remarkable and unforgettable memories of everyone's life. Youngsters nowadays are spending a hefty sum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
. I believe these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
are acceptable unless it becomes a financial burden on them.

In this era, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are under the influence of others, tend to behave like them to gain popularity among others. This is
mainly
due to the social media platforms like Instagram, Facebook and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. Youngsters on social media believe that whatever the person has posted is true and in order to do the same, they tend to do the same or better than that to become popular.
Moreover
, media
also
plays a vital role in inculcating the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
by
repeatedly
showing them on television and in magazines.
Lastly
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it pleasing when someone compliments them for an occasion they organized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
enjoyed it. In order to gain popularity and showing off their wealth young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on such recreational and celebratory activities.

Looking at the perspective of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
groups who argues that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and resources, believes that it is not appropriate
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
to spend a hefty sum to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
others and gain popularity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
a time these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
put up great financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on the entire family. Due to which they indulge in crime to pay off their debt.
Secondly
, it
is been
observed that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
invaluable resources like food, electricity
are wasted
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The same material can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by poor and needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who actually needs these. Wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

To summarize
, it is true that wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
is not necessary if the person is incapable of spending.
However
, if he is capable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and wants others to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebration
, according to me there is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
with doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
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IELTS essay Some people think spending a lot of money on birthday celebrations and weddings is a waste of money.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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