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Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree v.4

Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. v. 4
These days, with the improvement of technology, lifestyle has changed. The internet has made life easy and comfortable for humans, but there could be some detrimental effects to customers. It is believed that the internet has caused many problems such as cyber bullying and dangerous sites. Although there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences of this trend, societies can take steps to mitigate these potential problems. Marking the first big reason behind Internet problems is nothing but cyber bullying which is dramatically on the increase. To explain, hacker steals information and money on the Internet, users or even breaks down many government or agency's website for damage purposes. Stealing users’ information on Facebook recently cause sending blackmail or sharing individual images that is a clear example of these dangerous crimes. The other significant drawback is children can access to potentially dangerous sites. For example, children can be easy to access to pornography, sites which affect negative thought and development for them. There are several actions that people could tackle the problems. Firstly, people need to be more careful about putting their personal information on the Internet, and government can introduce new laws in order to impose fines on online crime. Moreover, parents should spend time on investigating their children websites or trying to occupy children’s free time with outdoor activities. In conclusion, cyber bullying and dangerous sites are the undeniable problems. They can be controlled by providing basic knowledge and awareness to people who are using the Internet and proper punishment need to be set for online crime. It is predicted that more and more countries will be forced to take such measures to Internet problems.
These days, with the improvement of technology, lifestyle has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. The internet has made life easy and comfortable for humans,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental effects to customers. It
is believed
that the internet has caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as
This word is normally spelled as one.
cyber bullying
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
. Although there will
undoubtedly
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of this trend, societies can take steps to mitigate these potential problems.

Marking the
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
reason behind Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This word is normally spelled as one.
cyber bullying
which is
dramatically
on the increase. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, hacker steals information and money on the Internet, users or even breaks down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or agency's website for damage purposes. Stealing users’ information on Facebook recently cause sending blackmail or sharing individual images
that is
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
crimes. The other significant drawback is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can access to
potentially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be easy to access to pornography,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
which affect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
and development for them.

There are several actions that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to be more careful about putting their personal information on the Internet, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can introduce new laws in order to impose fines on online crime.
Moreover
, parents should spend time on investigating their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
websites or trying to occupy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
free time with outdoor activities.

In conclusion
,
This word is normally spelled as one.
cyber bullying
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
are the undeniable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. They can
be controlled
by providing basic knowledge and awareness to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are using the Internet and proper punishment need to
be set
for online crime. It
is predicted
that more and more countries will
be forced
to take such measures to Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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