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Some people think people who make a lot of money are the most successful, while others think that those who contribute to society like teachers or scientists achieve more in life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think people who make a lot of money are the most successful, while others think that those who contribute to society like teachers or scientists achieve more in life. r6GQp
The contribution of individuals to particular fields such as science or humanity is a worldwide success. However, some think that the more money people make out, the more successful they become. In my perspective, I believe that each person has their justified reasons for this matter, which is suitable for the way people use their money and knowledge. From my perspective, we live in an intertwined world that is difficult to distinguish one person's success from others. Most of the ventures today involve people in different roles, and the success comes from the self-confidence about experts in jobs done as doctors saving human life. In addition, recognition of the achievement of a person needs to include the whole team support. Last but not least, success should be expressed by qualities such as integrity and self-esteem, but not by the job title. Besides, I believe that personal earnings do not reflect their success in modern society as nowadays. It is needed to pay more attention to lifestyle and contribution to the community instead of income
The contribution of individuals to particular fields such as science or humanity is a worldwide

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success
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the more money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
out, the more successful they

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
become
. In my perspective, I believe that each person has their justified reasons for this matter,

which is suitable for the way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their money and knowledge. From my perspective, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an intertwined world
that is
difficult to distinguish one person'
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
s


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
success
from others. Most of the ventures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
involve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
roles, and the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
success


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
comes
from the self-confidence about experts in jobs done as doctors saving human life. In

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
addition
, recognition of the achievement of a person needs to include the whole team support.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, success should
be expressed
by qualities such as integrity and self-esteem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
not
by the job title.
Besides
, I believe that personal earnings do not reflect their success in modern

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
society
as nowadays. It
is needed
to pay more attention to lifestyle and contribution to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


community
instead
of income
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IELTS essay Some people think people who make a lot of money are the most successful, while others think that those who contribute to society like teachers or scientists achieve more in life.

Essay
  American English
11 paragraphs
173 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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