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Some people think parents should be control the behaviour of children from a very drawing is but other things we should give them proper more freedom discuss both the views and give your opinion

Some people think parents should be control the behaviour of children from a very drawing is but other things we should give them proper more freedom discuss both the views and give your opinion 52Pqm
Many dwellers believe that at the very young age remote control of children’s behaviour in the hands of parents while, other opine extra freedom should be given to them. I will discuss both the viewpoints in my given body paragraphs and I will give my opinion in the conclusion. In the former statement, proper guidelines on behaviour of children from the beginning of the jungle period time is the parents responsibility. First and foremost, the teenager want funny mode in their life with their friends, they can’t differentiate between good or bad things. So parents instructions are necessary. Moreover, educating the ethical value are vital for every child at young age which are taught by family leads to other good manners. For instance, children of middle class have a manners and moral values which stamped by parental learning. On the other hand, the latter opinion deem that open choice is more beneficial for the children behaviour and its development. Firstly, more options give more opportunities to the children behaviour, sometimes children get stuck in one choice which creates complexity. Freedom to children behaviour improves the fast decision making. For example, many Indians children have more freedom at young age and they develop unique identity in the world like they became a singer by participating in competitive shows, talent shows, and in reality shows. After discussing both the opinion, I personally believe that more freedom at Young time period is very crucial to learn how to live life in a better way with own ideas which may satisfied our decisions and our soul too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
dwellers believe that at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age remote control of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in the hands of parents while, other opine extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to them. I will discuss both the viewpoints in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
body paragraphs and I will give my opinion in the conclusion. In the former statement, proper guidelines on
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from the beginning of the jungle period time is the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "parents'" or "parent's"?
parents
responsibility.
First
and foremost, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
mode in their life with their friends, they can’t differentiate between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
parents instructions are necessary.
Moreover
, educating the ethical value are vital for every child at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age which
are taught
by family leads to other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
manners.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
have a manners and moral values which stamped by parental learning.
On the other hand
, the latter opinion deem that open choice is more beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and its development.
Firstly
, more options give more opportunities to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
stuck in one choice which creates complexity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Freedom
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Indians
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
age and
they develop unique identity in the world like they became a singer by participating in competitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, talent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, and in reality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
.

After discussing both the opinion, I
personally
believe that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
time period is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial to learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
life in a better way with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
which may satisfied our decisions and our soul too.
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IELTS essay Some people think parents should be control the behaviour of children from a very drawing is but other things we should give them proper more freedom discuss both the views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
263 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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