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Some people think only best students should be rewarded, others think we should reward students who make progress. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think only best students should be rewarded, others think we should reward students who make progress. XEybY
The issue of whether students who outperform their peers or make progress should be rewarded is frequently discussed in recent years. From my perspective, although outstanding students deserve to be rewarded, students who make academic progress should be encouraged and rewarded more. Some educators suppose that only top students worth rewarding. Firstly, it is what they should receive as they work hard to be the best students. It is widely believed that people in the higher level must devote more time and energy to their studies, thus it is reasonable to reward those who put in the greatest effort. Secondly, praising best students can bring a sense of competition to the class. More specifically, when other students see that the top students were prized, they will realize that they need to pay more to catch up. As incentive is limited, in order to achieve the highest grade in the class, everyone will try their best to be one of them. On the other hand, it is more motivated to reward students who make obvious progress. Everyone’s talents and basics are different, so some individuals may work extremely hard but still struggle in school. If we only pay attention to those high-level students, slow learners’ enthusiasm towards study may be diminished. Moreover, making significant progress in learning demonstrates that students have untapped potential in learning. After receiving the reward of outstanding development, they will become more confident and engaged in their future studies. In conclusion, no matter students are the most excellent in class or not, there must be some areas where they can improve and perform better. So that my view is that it is more essential to reward students who make growth than those who are the best. Schools should establish a rewarding system that work for all students to optimize their learning potential.
The issue of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
outperform their peers or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
should
be rewarded
is
frequently
discussed in recent years. From my perspective, although outstanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
deserve to
be rewarded
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
should
be encouraged
and rewarded more.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
educators suppose that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
worth rewarding.
Firstly
, it is what they should receive as they work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. It is
widely
believed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the higher level
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
devote more time and energy to their studies,
thus
it is reasonable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
put in the greatest effort.
Secondly
, praising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can bring a sense of competition to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. More
specifically
, when other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were prized
, they will realize that they need to pay more to catch up. As incentive
is limited
, in order to achieve the highest grade in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, everyone will try their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
to be one of them.

On the other hand
, it is more motivated to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
obvious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
. Everyone’s talents and basics are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals may work
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
struggle in school. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
pay attention to those high-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, slow learners’ enthusiasm towards study may
be diminished
.
Moreover
, making significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
in learning demonstrates that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have untapped potential in learning. After receiving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
of outstanding development, they will become more confident and engaged in their future studies.

In conclusion
, no matter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are the most excellent in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
or not, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas where they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and perform better.
“So that” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So that
my view is that it is more essential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
growth than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
. Schools should establish a rewarding system that work for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to optimize their learning potential.
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IELTS essay Some people think only best students should be rewarded, others think we should reward students who make progress.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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