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Some people think news channels has influence on youngster and it is negative development. Do you agree or disagree ?

Some people think news channels has influence on youngster and it is negative development. YR6YQ
News media play  very important role in our life by awaring us from what is happening around the globe. Some people believe news providing organisation influence people very much which is not good development. I aggre with the statement because of increase in voilence incident because of missinterpretation of information by news channels and are discussed below in pending paragraphs. To commence with, some news channels misguide the people by uprooting unnecessary issues rather than other major issues which results in social hate in society and originate negative thoughts regarded to particular community or individual. Apart from that, news channels provide reports for sake of money which manipulate people and results in vote bank politics. For instance, some news channels praises one particular political party for money and differrentiate it on basis of religion and caste which results in spreading religious hate and stratification in society. Moreover, many news channels are out of track from their own institutional values like providing unbiased and reliable information and working on different agenda in spreading of their own thoughts. For example, in india there was an incident in which a news channel telecast wrong information regarding babri masjid which results in religoius riots and several death counts. Apart from that, influence  on youngsters and teenagers is more as they easily get agressive by fake information and effect negatively. To sum up, people easily get influenced by such news channels and make their views on basis of fake reports rather than knowing about the agenda behind the news. Thus such kind of developement has many adverse effect on society and for human races.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
News
media play
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our life by
Possible spelling mistake found.
awaring
us from what is happening around the globe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
providing
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
development. I
Possible spelling mistake found.
aggre
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of increase in
Possible spelling mistake found.
voilence
incident
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
missinterpretation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
and
are discussed
below in pending paragraphs.

To commence with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
misguide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by uprooting unnecessary issues
rather
than other major issues which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
in social hate in society and originate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thoughts regarded to particular community or individual. Apart from that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
provide reports for sake of money which manipulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
in vote bank politics.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
praises one particular political party for money and
Possible spelling mistake found.
differrentiate
it on basis of religion and caste which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
in spreading religious hate and stratification in society.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
are out of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
institutional values like providing unbiased and reliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and working on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
agenda in spreading of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
thoughts.
For example
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
there was an incident in which a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channel
telecast
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
regarding
Possible spelling mistake found.
babri
Possible spelling mistake found.
masjid
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
religoius
riots and several death counts. Apart from that, influence
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
on youngsters and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
is more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
they
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
agressive
by fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and effect
negatively
.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced by such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their views on basis of fake reports
rather
than knowing about the agenda behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
such kind of
Possible spelling mistake found.
developement
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adverse effect on society and for human races.
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IELTS essay Some people think news channels has influence on youngster and it is negative development.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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