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Will the popularity of online shop cause physical shops to close?

Will the popularity of online shop cause physical shops to close? qarww
The increase in the popularity of online shopping is currently having an adverse effect with businesses concerning physical shops which may lead to permanent closure of these types of business. And I strongly agree with this statement. Firstly, since technology has greatly evolved throughout the years and people in general find better comfort in shopping either by using their mobile applications or online websites to check goods and purchase at the comfort of their home, physical shops are now being seen as a last resort and people tend to only go there if they are by any chance doing some leisure time walking solo or bonding with friends to do sightseeing outside the mall. Moreover, since the Covid-19 has been a global concern worldwide and social distancing is being practiced as a safety precaution to avoid the spread of diseases, online shopping is the best option which is done to purchase necessities such as food, beverages, and clothes and as a result, the comfort of doing so is greatly convenient as people get to have their orders delivered right at the location of their doorstep. In conclusion, customers nowadays have opted to go for online shopping rather than going out to do physical shopping as it is more convenient to do so. Hence, with the comfort of using technology, we get to practice safety precautions in this time of pandemic.
The increase in the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
currently
having an adverse effect with businesses concerning physical shops which may lead to permanent closure of these types of business. And I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

Firstly
, since technology has
greatly
evolved throughout the years and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in general
find better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comfort
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
either by using their mobile applications or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
websites to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comfort
of their home, physical shops are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a last resort and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
go there if they are by any chance doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
leisure time walking solo or bonding with friends to do sightseeing outside the mall.

Moreover
, since the Covid-19 has been a global concern worldwide and social distancing is
being practiced
as a safety precaution to avoid the spread of diseases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is the best option which
is done
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
necessities such as food, beverages, and clothes and
as a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comfort
of doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
is
greatly
convenient as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to have their orders delivered right at the location of their doorstep.

In conclusion
, customers nowadays have opted to go for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
rather
than going out to do physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as it is more convenient to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
Hence
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
comfort
of using technology, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to practice safety precautions in this time of pandemic.
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IELTS essay Will the popularity of online shop cause physical shops to close?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
230 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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