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Some people think medicine is developing in recent decades and it has more beneficial sites. Some people do not agee.

Some people think medicine is developing in recent decades and it has more beneficial sites. Some people do not agee. bOr7B
Perhaps the idea of medicine has become a widespread one in recent decades, with many individuals holding different beliefs on it. Some individuals feel that medicine is advancing in last ten years and it is efficient to humans life. Others do not think so. I personally agree with the above statement and there are many compelling reasons to support my views in the following paragraph. To commence, we are living in medical era. There are almost more treatments for all kind of diseases in the world. By the way, medicine is one of the most crucial field for humanity. Where medicine is well-developed, people can live longer than other religions. One clear example is that there are medicine is flourished in Japan and that's why the average lifespan is 75 age. On the flip side of coin, in the past when medicine was not well developed, most people were died from various diseases. For instance, at this times there been more wars during the history. As a result uncountable people were died. However, they could not treated any type of diseases and all doctors preferred to treat people the help of natural herbs as well as fruit. In conclusion, I strongly believe that nowadays medicine is good developed than times of past. As a result, it can help to us live longer. I believe that medicine will advenced in down the road than now.
Perhaps the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
has become a widespread one in recent decades, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals holding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
beliefs on it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is advancing in last ten years and it is efficient to humans life. Others do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above statement and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
compelling reasons to support my views in the following paragraph. To commence, we are living in medical era. There are almost more treatments for all kind of diseases in the world. By the way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is one of the most crucial field for humanity. Where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is well-developed,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer than other religions. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example is that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is flourished
in Japan and that's why the average lifespan is 75 age. On the flip side of coin, in the past when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
was not
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
from various diseases.
For instance
, at
Did you mean "these"?
this
times there been more wars during the history.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result uncountable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
.
However
, they could not
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "treat"
treated
any type of diseases and all doctors preferred to treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of natural herbs
as well
as fruit.
In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
developed than times of past.
As a result
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
will
Possible spelling mistake found.
advenced
in down the road than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
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IELTS essay Some people think medicine is developing in recent decades and it has more beneficial sites. Some people do not agee.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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