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The tendency of human being to copy one another is shown in the popularity of areas such as fashions & customer goods (IELTS Writing Part 2)

The tendency of human being to copy one another is shown in the popularity of areas such as fashions & customer goods (IELTS Writing Part 2) JYqRe
In the popularity of areas such as fashion and consumer goods, it had portrayed the tendency of human beings to copy one another. From my point of view, I agree with this statement. The reasons can be split into 2 main parts. The first reason that we should acknowledge; we are basically evolved from primates, animals with herd behaviours. Since the first days of humans, we bound each other for survival. We share our crops, we develop weapons, we live together in tribes. This had provided clues on their tendency to loan ideas from others. As a matter of fact, people originally stem from a species distinctive of herd behaviours, which are rationally explained as an effective way to assure their physical safety and mental comfort. This had led to humans adapting other's ideas and integrating them into the majority of populations. The second reason, which is the most suitable for me, to explain the tendency of human beings to copy one another can be described in one word, "laziness". It's a common-sense that coming out with an original idea is not a piece of cake. As a matter of fact, this had led to many ideas being overused and overdone a lot, for the profitable reason. Take an example from the idea of copying in the exams. It may started in the minds of some of the students who have not studied to prepare for the exam. Those students, who waste their remaining time for the revision feel very nervous when the exams are approaching nearer. So their only reliable option is to copy other's answers. Most of the time, it would solve the problem, until the grader notices the problem. To sum up everything that has been stated so far, there are two reasons for an individual to copy one another. First, we evolved from species with herd behaviours. Whether copying occurs consciously or unconsciously or in any forms of interaction, copying is associated with mental comfort. Second, people tend to be lazy when creating a new concept. This had led to ideas that got used over and over again, for profitable reasons. To my extent, I totally lean on the statement that human mimics one another is demonstrated in the popularity of areas.
In the popularity of areas such as fashion and consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, it had portrayed the tendency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
copy
one another. From my point of view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
can
be split
into 2 main parts.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that we should acknowledge; we are
basically
evolved from primates, animals with herd
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
. Since the
first
days of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, we bound each other for survival. We share our crops, we develop weapons, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together in tribes. This had provided clues on their tendency to loan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
from others. As a matter of fact,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
originally
stem from a species distinctive of herd
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
, which are
rationally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
as an effective way to assure their physical safety and mental comfort. This had led to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
adapting other's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
and integrating them into the majority of populations.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
, which is the most suitable for me, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the tendency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
copy
one another can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
in one word,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
laziness
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. It's a common-sense that coming out with an original
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
is not a piece of cake. As a matter of fact, this had led to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
being overused
and overdone a lot, for the profitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
. Take an example from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
of copying in the exams. It may
The verb 'may' requires the base form of the verb: "start"
started
in the minds of
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
students who have not studied to prepare for the exam. Those students, who waste their remaining time for the revision feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
nervous when the exams are approaching nearer.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reliable option is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
copy
other's answers. Most of the time, it would solve the problem, until the grader notices the problem.

To sum up everything that has
been stated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far, there are two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for an individual to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
copy
one another.
First
, we evolved from species with herd
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
. Whether copying occurs
consciously
or
unconsciously
or in any forms of interaction, copying
is associated
with mental comfort. Second,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to be lazy when creating a new concept. This had led to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
over and over again, for profitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. To my extent, I
totally
lean on the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
mimics one another
is demonstrated
in the popularity of areas.
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IELTS essay The tendency of human being to copy one another is shown in the popularity of areas such as fashions & customer goods (IELTS Writing Part 2)

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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