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have you ever changed your job and accept the risks of changing your job?

have you ever changed your job and accept the risks of changing your job? pb1Qd
Right now, I am exactly changing my job due to getting prominent job position in my new situation. I have changed my job office or job position many times but now I am annoyed. I really dont like to change my job but unfortunately. I have to do this. Firstly, I should mention my fiancé and I worked in the same palace and we sometimes struggle with each other and these challenges influences in our relation. This was going to be chronic and made me headache. So I prefer to change my job and go to another office in different job position in order to flourish in new position and also reduce risks of challenges with me and my fiancé. But now I most of the time think, Is my opinion and this way can really be helpful for us or it makes converse results. I dont know what to do right now. I can not really predict what will be happen in the future. My boy friend always said me do not get worried and we will be with each other forever but I got stressed and waiting for later perspectives. Due to the fact of we have a great bond with each other and he proposed me before, furthermore he want to come my home and propose me from my family officially. I prefer to marry him soon and live with him as soon as possible. Overall, It is hard to make a decision when a lot of things would be happen and the perspective of our decisions can be positive or negative. I want GOD to help me to e successful in all my life and reach all my yearning.
Right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
, I am exactly changing my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
due to getting prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
in my new situation. I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
office or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
I
am annoyed
. I
really
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do this.
Firstly
, I should mention my

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
fiancé
and I worked in the same
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
palace and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
struggle with each other and these challenges influences in our relation. This was going to be chronic and made me headache.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and go to another office in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
in order to flourish in new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of challenges with me and my fiancé.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
I most of the time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, Is my opinion and this way can
really
be helpful for us or it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
converse results. I
Possible spelling mistake found
dont
know what to do right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
. I can not
really
predict what will be
Consider using the past participle "happened"?
happen
in the future. My boy friend always
'Say' cannot be followed by a direct personal object. Did you mean "told"?
said
me do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
worried and
we will be with each other forever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and waiting for later perspectives. Due to the fact of we have a great bond with each
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
other and
he proposed me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
furthermore
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
my home and propose me from my family
officially
. I prefer to marry him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with him as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.
Overall
, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a decision when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things would be
Consider using the past participle "happened"?
happen
and the perspective of our decisions can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. I want GOD to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to e successful in all my life and reach all my yearning.
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IELTS essay have you ever changed your job and accept the risks of changing your job?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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