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Some people think learning history in school is important. Some others think learning subjects more relevant to life is important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think learning history in school is important. Some others think learning subjects more relevant to life is important. 5BW2V
There is no doubt that what subject we should learn in school is crucial. While some people believe that it is necessary for students to have curriculums related to real life, my view is that the significance of history should not be neglected. On the one hand, lessons that contain more realistic content will provide students ability to develop better career in the future. This is because subjects like accountance, biology and computer science can directly provide job skills which can be applied to what these students need to do in the work place. For example, a student who may find it engaging to learn biology will be motivated to learn this subject by themselves and become a doctor in the futher. If students don't learn any practical skills at school, they may find it hard to fit into work environment quickly. On the other hand, I would argue that learning history is essential to develop and form students' understanding of the world. The reason for this is that by learning what we have done in the past what consequences these events caused, the youngesters can have a better view on what they should do to create a better future. For example, there were several times in China when the ancient emperors burnt all kinds of books and killed anyone who spoke against him, the ruin of culture and freedom speech directly led to the end of the dynasty. If teenagers know nothing about the history of their own country, they may not cherish what they have now and vote for the wrong person to be the leader of the country. In conclusion, despite the practical meaning of studying job-oriented curriculums, I believe history should have its place among the core subjects in school.
There is no doubt that what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
we should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
in school is crucial. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have curriculums related to real life, my view is that the significance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
should not
be neglected
.

On the one hand, lessons that contain more realistic content will provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
ability to develop better career in the future. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
accountance
, biology and computer science can
directly
provide job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which can
be applied
to what these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to do in the work place.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who may find it engaging to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
biology will
be motivated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
by themselves and become a doctor in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
futher
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
any practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
at school, they may find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to fit into work environment
quickly
.

On the other hand
, I would argue that learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is essential to develop and form students' understanding of the world.
The reason for this is
that by learning what we have done in the past what consequences these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
caused, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngesters
can have a better view on what they should do to create a better future.
For example
, there were several times in China when the ancient emperors burnt all kinds of books and killed anyone who spoke against him, the ruin of culture and freedom speech
directly
led to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the dynasty. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
know nothing about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country, they may not cherish what they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and vote for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
person to be the leader of the country.

In conclusion
, despite the practical meaning of studying job-oriented curriculums, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
should have its place among the core
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in school.
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IELTS essay Some people think learning history in school is important. Some others think learning subjects more relevant to life is important.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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