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Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent. v.11

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent. v. 11
Having a good and success child in the future is one of the parent's goal. Then, some individuals argue that it is better to prepare the related skills through the education at school. However, it can be pointed out that all is about teaching an attitude and behaviour in teenager's self. I my viewpoint, I believe that schools could provide any kind of best education for the students to confront their future as a parent. First and foremost, basically, parents have a huge importance position on developing children, or it can be said that the young people consider on how the development of the country later on. By means that some people are truly expecting the younger could be a good parent who educate and guide their children properly in the future. Moreover, at school, they ought to be taught by the teachers in having proper behaviour. The practical learning of attitude, for instance, this will assure the students well how to behave and to be mature person. As a result, they would prefer to give a priority for the kindness instead of badness. This will automatically lead them to be a nobleman and have a great mental to face any situation. On the other hand, the more education we deserve, the more essential benefits will be influential. Particularly, for improving the awareness of teenagers on their next steps, they should have most provisions either at home or school. If they spend plenty of time at school with a special subject on the manners of being good parents, so it would be suitable to teach them deeply about the ways of supervising as a parent. For example, the workshop of caring baby as the fundamental of parenting is a worthy thing that can be useful for them. Furthermore, this lesson can be implemented through material and practical to make sure that the students are truly mastering it. Thus, the school is not only focusing on the academic subjects, but also the non-academic things are provided. By way of conclusion, it is true that the preparation for being the best parent is the central concern for the teenagers. Therefore, the school as a space of education should render a great quality for the student's future especially as a parent. Yet, as I would state that both of parents and school also need to take care of this worry.
Having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and success child in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
is one of the parent's goal. Then,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals argue that it is better to prepare the related
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
However
, it can
be pointed
out that all is about teaching an attitude and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
's self. I my viewpoint, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
could provide any kind
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the best".
of best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for the students to confront their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
as a parent.

First
and foremost,
basically
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have a huge importance position on developing children, or it can
be said
that the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider on how the development of the country later on. By means that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
truly
expecting the younger could be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
who educate and guide their children
properly
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Moreover
, at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they ought to
be taught
by the teachers in having proper
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. The practical learning of attitude,
for instance
, this will assure the students well how to behave and to be mature person.
As a result
, they would prefer to give a priority for the kindness
instead
of badness. This will
automatically
lead them to be a nobleman and have a great mental to face any situation.

On the other hand
, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
we deserve, the more essential benefits will be influential.
Particularly
, for improving the awareness of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
on their
next
steps, they should have most provisions either at home or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. If they spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of time at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with a special subject on the manners of being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it would be suitable to teach them
deeply
about the ways of supervising as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
.
For example
, the workshop of caring baby as the fundamental of parenting is a worthy thing that can be useful for them.
Furthermore
, this lesson can
be implemented
through material and practical to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that the students are
truly
mastering it.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focusing on the academic subjects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the non-academic things
are provided
.

By way of conclusion, it is true that the preparation for being the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
is the central concern for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as a space of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should render a great quality for the student's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
especially
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
.
Yet
, as I would state that both of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
also
need to take care of this worry.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
397 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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