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Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, while others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, while others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. v. 1
A school of thought believes that teachers should not impose homework on school children. However, the other proportion of people tends to differ from this approach. In my opinion, I believe with the former view, as there are various other activities besides education, which should be given equal importance to pupils. On the one hand, school students should not be given homework by their teachers and I agree. Firstly, children must not be confined at home or school and they should be allowed some time to play outdoors, which reduces their stress. For instance, recent research by the UK government demonstrated that when students are allowed to play under the sun, they become stronger physically and mentally. This is out of the question if they are bombarded with assignments. Further, they get a chance to spend time with their family, which enhances family bonding. Furthermore, they become multitasking as they study at school for the first half of the day and practice cultural activities for the rest of the day. On the other hand, homework helps to recapitulate what they have learned at school. For example, a survey conducted by the World Education Council illustrated that the academic score of pupils increases if they are completely occupied with homework. In addition, this method will make them concentrate only on academics. To add on, the young children will not waste their leisure time and focus only on their education. In conclusion, even though few people debate that homework is vital for children's education. I strongly believe, there must be equal emphasis on sports, cultural activities and family time, which will be curbed if young students are assigned homework.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
believes that teachers should not impose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
children.
However
, the other proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tends to differ from this approach. In my opinion, I believe with the former view, as there are various other activities
besides
education, which should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
equal importance to pupils.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
students should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
by their teachers and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
Firstly
, children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be confined
at home or
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
school and
they should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to play outdoors, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
For instance
, recent research by the UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
demonstrated that when students are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to play under the sun, they become stronger
physically
and mentally. This is out of the question if they
are bombarded
with assignments.
Further
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family, which enhances family bonding.
Furthermore
, they become multitasking as they study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for the
first
half of the day and practice cultural activities for the rest of the day.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to recapitulate what they have learned at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
For example
, a survey conducted by the World Education Council illustrated that the academic score of pupils increases if they are completely occupied with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
.
In addition
, this method will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them concentrate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on academics. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
on, the young children will not waste their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and focus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on their education.

In conclusion
,
even though
few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
debate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
is vital for children's education. I
strongly
believe, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be equal emphasis on sports, cultural activities and family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, which will
be curbed
if young students
are assigned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, while others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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