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Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent. v.10

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent. v. 10
On an average, a student spends 8 to 9 hours in the school. Some people believe that it is good to teach some skills to be a good parent at their young age. I completely disagree with this point. The purpose of the education is to teach and groom in other areas and these skills are mainly taught at home. In this essay I shall put forth my arguments to support my views and skills required to be a good parent. To begin with, parenting is an interpersonal skill, which cannot be taught with the syllabus like how math and science done with school. In other words, children try to copy the way parents act not the teachers. It is purely depends on how their mother and father are raising their kids, same culture even their children will follow. For example, if elders in the house always fight and speak in a loud voice, knowingly or unknowingly, kids will also behave in the same manner. In addition to that, In the modern education system, pupils are already overloaded with multiple course and curriculums, adding this will put more pressure on their young mind. One require many skills to be called as good mom and dad, such as, open minded to learning new things, patience, cool tempered and understanding nature. Despite of their age, they should be ready to learn new things and adjust with current development, like with new gadgets, if not, it will create a gap between two of them. Other skills are, be it father or mother, when their children grow, they should treat them as friends, so that teenagers feel comfortable to share all the happenings in their life and elder can guide them if are choosing a wrong path. To conclude, These skills are better taught at home rather in classrooms. It is the responsibility of the parents to show how raise a kid in a good way.
On an average, a student spends 8 to 9 hours in the school.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
to teach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
parent at their young age. I completely disagree with this point. The purpose of the education is to teach and groom in other areas and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
mainly
taught at home. In this essay I shall put forth my arguments to support my views and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
required to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
parent.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, parenting is an interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, which cannot
be taught
with the syllabus like how math and science done with school.
In other words
, children try to copy the way parents act not the teachers. It is
purely
depends on how their mother and father are raising their kids, same culture even their children will follow.
For example
, if elders in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
always fight and speak in a loud voice,
knowingly
or
unknowingly
, kids will
also
behave in the same manner.

In addition
to that, In the modern education system, pupils are already overloaded with multiple course and curriculums, adding this will put more pressure on their young mind.

One require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to
be called
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
mom and dad, such as,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
open minded
to learning new things, patience, cool tempered and understanding nature.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
their age, they should be ready to learn new things and adjust with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
development, like with new gadgets, if not, it will create a gap between two of them. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are, be it father or mother, when their children grow, they should treat them as friends,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
feel comfortable to share all the happenings in their life and elder can guide them if are choosing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path.

To conclude
, These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are better taught at home
rather
in classrooms. It is the responsibility of the parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how raise a kid in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
way.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent. v. 10

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
322 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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