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Some people think it s better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them Other people believe it s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them Discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

Some people think it s better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them Other people believe it s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them 2
I believe that there are many solutions available to overcome crimes happening around us. Only to teach parents better parenting skill does not solve problem of young offenders. First of all, teenagers and people who pass the age 20th are attracted to evil for many reasons. They believe, by doing robbery or kidnapping is the best way to earn money in a short period. In addition, unemployed people also tend to choose crime as they frustrated of being unemployed and lose faith in themselves. Secondly, school children started drug/alcohol as experimental and it leads to addictions. Because of too much desired of those drugs and alcohol, children may do crime for money and by this theft money they will satisfy their drug consumption desire. To begin with a solution, parents should teach their children about moral value, life ethics and also pass the sense of selecting right things and stay away from bad things. The government will have to create more and more job opportunities so, every will get a chance to be impaled and nobody can walk on crime path. School authorized body has to take strict steps like monitoring every student and in the case of behavioural change of student, authorised person should talk with his/her parents. Government should also promote NGO who is working towards child education. To sum up, I can say that tech individual from a very young age by parents is one of the best solution but it's not only the parent's effort will work. Government, society and person's friends, all of them have to work together to solve the increasing crime rate.
I believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions available to overcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
happening around us.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
better parenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
does not solve problem of young offenders.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who pass the age 20th
are attracted
to evil for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons. They believe, by doing robbery or kidnapping is the best way to earn money in a short period.
In addition
, unemployed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
also
tend to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
as they frustrated of
being unemployed
and lose faith in themselves.
Secondly
, school children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
drug/alcohol as experimental and it leads to addictions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of too much desired of those drugs and alcohol, children may do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
for money and by this theft money they will satisfy their drug consumption desire.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with a solution,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should teach their children about moral value, life ethics and
also
pass the sense of selecting right things and stay away from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
create more and more job opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, every will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to
be impaled
and nobody can walk on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
path. School authorized body
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take strict steps like monitoring every student and in the case of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of student,
Do not mix variants of the same word ('authorise' and 'authorize') within a single text.
authorised
person should talk with his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should
also
promote NGO who is working towards child education.

To sum up, I can say that tech individual from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is one of the best solution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it's not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the parent's effort will work.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
, society and person's friends, all of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work together to solve the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think it s better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them Other people believe it s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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