Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think it is more important to provide parks and sports facilities than to provide shopping centers in these new town for people to spend their free time. To what extent doo you agree or disagree?

Some people think it is more important to provide parks and sports facilities than to provide shopping centers in these new town for people to spend their free time. KwlEN
Nowadays, an increasing number of new towns have been constructed because of the development of urbanization. Citizens expect to live in functional communities. Some people consider it necessary to build parks and sports facilities rather than shopping centers as public space. But I disagree with this statement. Common parks and sports facilities help people to live a more satisfying life. One benefit of building parks and sport facilities is that provide local people with places to take exercise there. In modern society, many health problems such as diabetes and cardiovascular disease are caused by people’s sedentary lifestyle. Running or playing badminton in the park which has a lot of trees and beautiful flowers would definitely enhance physical health for individuals. Apart from being as outdoor sports fields, the parks are also perfect places to communicating with friends or families, which can build a close friendship or strong family relationship. For example, man and woman could lying on grass and listening to each other, which is a really relaxing way to strengthen a relationship. At the same time, visiting shopping centers is indispensable for modern life. People all over the world like to spend leisure time in shopping malls. These days, it seems that plazas have become the multifunctional sites besides buying something needed regularly. Shopping centers offering stores, sit-down restaurants, cinemas, amusement parks and more. For example, lovers could watch a romantic movie first and then have a candlelight dinner during the weekends, which is of value to their relationship. To sum up, public parks, sports facilities and shopping centers are all equally important public spaces. Designers should consider all of them when governments plan to build a new town
Nowadays, an increasing number of new towns have
been constructed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the development of urbanization. Citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in functional communities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider it necessary to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
as public space.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I disagree with this statement.

Common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a more satisfying life. One benefit of building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities is that provide local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with places to take exercise there. In modern society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health problems such as diabetes and cardiovascular disease
are caused
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
sedentary lifestyle. Running or playing badminton in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
trees and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
flowers would definitely enhance physical health for individuals. Apart from being as outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
fields, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
are
also
perfect places to communicating with friends or families, which can build a close friendship or strong family relationship.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and woman could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "lie"
lying
on grass and listening to each other, which is a
really
relaxing way to strengthen a relationship.

At the same time, visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
is indispensable for modern life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
all over the world like to spend leisure time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls. These days, it seems that plazas have become the multifunctional sites
besides
buying something needed
regularly
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
offering stores, sit-down restaurants, cinemas, amusement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and more.
For example
, lovers could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a romantic movie
first
and then have a candlelight dinner during the weekends, which is of value to their relationship.

To sum up, public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
are all
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
public spaces. Designers should consider all of them when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
plan to build a new
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
town
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think it is more important to provide parks and sports facilities than to provide shopping centers in these new town for people to spend their free time.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts