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some people think it is important to keep and mantain old buildings rather than replacing them eith modern buildings. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the fast process of modernization of cities, the problem concerning the importance of safeguard ancient buildings instead of have them substituted by new ones, is more than ever a matter of concern. Attributing more space to modern buildings can have various advantages, however, I strongly believe that old buildings are even more fundamental for a country and therefore they should be preserved. Those who argue that modern buildings should proliferate all over the cities stress the importance of creating a modern image of the country in order to being able to be as competitive as other developed countries in the process of global development. For instance, a city like Shanghai decided to build many skyscrapers because they wanted to show to the world that China’s economy had improved and it could not be considered anymore as a underdeveloped country like in the past. In addition, it’s undeniable that most of the new buildings is constructed with a particular attention to eco-sustainability due to the recent discovers in ecology field. Therefore new buildings will have an appealing benefit for environment. Even if the above arguments are reasonable, more convincing ones can be found in favor of old buildings’ preservation. First of all, they represent the culture, traditions and history of a country. Protect them means pass on a valueless patrimony to future generations. Moreover, economical reasons can be added to the list of the advantages. As a matter of fact ancient buildings have a marked attractiveness for tourists around the world that would be willing to visiting a country to see them, and subsequently generate an high intake for the local economy. In conclusion, although replacing old buildings can be beneficial for cities to build up their global image and to respect environment, governments should take steps to avoid the disappearance of old building because they are the most valuable heritage of a country and a monetary resource that should not be underestimated.
With the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
process of modernization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, the problem concerning the importance of safeguard ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
instead
of have them substituted by new ones, is more than ever a matter of concern. Attributing more space to modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can have various advantages,
however
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are even more fundamental for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
therefore
they should
be preserved
.

Those who argue that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should proliferate all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
the importance of creating a modern image of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in order to
Did you mean "be"?
being
able to be as competitive as other developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the process of global development.
For instance
, a city like Shanghai decided to build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
skyscrapers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
to the world that China’s economy had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
and it could not
be considered
anymore as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like in the past.
In addition
, it’s undeniable that most of the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
is constructed
with a particular attention to
Possible spelling mistake found.
eco-sustainability
due to the recent discovers in ecology field.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
will have an appealing benefit for environment.

Even if the above arguments are reasonable, more convincing ones can
be found
in favor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings’
preservation.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, they represent the culture, traditions and history of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Protect them means pass on a valueless patrimony to future generations.
Moreover
,
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
reasons can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
to the list of the advantages. As a matter of fact ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
have a marked attractiveness for tourists around the world that would be willing to visiting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them, and
subsequently
generate
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
high intake for the local economy.

In conclusion
, although replacing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to build up their global image and to respect environment,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should take steps to avoid the disappearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are the most valuable heritage of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and a monetary resource that should not
be underestimated
.
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IELTS essay some people think it is important to keep and mantain old buildings rather than replacing them eith modern buildings.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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