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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is often said that music has the power to connect people regardless of cultural background or ages. I completely agree with this view and will give the reason below. Music has the power to break the distraction, bring people’s heart together from worldwide. For example, in 1997 the world was under an epidemic of SARS. Leehong Wang, one of the Taiwanese pop singers gathered other singers to write the song called “hand in hand” dedicated to the patients who suffer from the disease and the hospital workers. After the song launched, he received lots of feedback from worldwide, told him that the song gave them courage to face the difficulties, let them know they were not alone. The song was a huge success, l think music is truly a global language. Music can also connect people from different generations. Regardless of ages, we are all attracted by the lovely melody and beautiful voice, and the best songs seem to have the same magical effect on all of us. . The TV show of the singing competition is the topic I most discussed with my family. The program attracted boardly audiences because popular songs appeal to children, parents, and grandparents. I enjoyed the time we watched the show together in front of the tv and cheered for the singinger which we were supported. I would say that no other entertainment can bring our family together. In conclusion, I do believe music creates a unique experience and builds relationships from different cultures.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that music has the power to connect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
regardless of cultural background or ages.

I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view and will give the reason below.

Music has the power to break the distraction, bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s heart together from worldwide.

For example
, in 1997 the world was under an epidemic of SARS.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Leehong
Wang, one of the Taiwanese pop singers gathered other singers to write the song called “hand in hand” dedicated to the patients who suffer from the disease and the hospital workers.

After the song launched, he received lots of feedback from worldwide,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
him that the song gave them courage to face the difficulties,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them know they were not alone. The song was a huge success, l
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
music is
truly
a global language.

Music can
also
connect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
generations. Regardless of ages, we are all attracted by the lovely melody and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
voice, and the best songs seem to have the same magical effect on all of us.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


The TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
of the singing competition is the topic I most discussed with my family. The program attracted
Possible spelling mistake found.
boardly
audiences
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
popular songs appeal to children, parents, and grandparents. I enjoyed the time we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
together in front of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
and cheered for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
singinger
which we
were supported
. I would say that no other entertainment can bring our family together.

In conclusion
, I do believe music creates a unique experience and builds relationships from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures.

IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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