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Some people think it is better to spend and enjoy their money once they earn it. Others think it is better to save their money and enjoy it in the future. Which stand do you agree with and why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Some people think it is better to spend and enjoy their money once they earn it. Others think it is better to save their money and enjoy it in the future. Which stand do you agree with and why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. k7MO
People have different opinion on how to spend their money. While some people believe enjoying with the money earned, others want it to be saved for the future. I agree with the savings point of view. Firstly, some people wish to enjoy their life with what they earn. According to these people they earn hard to make money, so they spend them to enjoy and there is no second chance to enjoy. So they wish to spend on enjoinment. Secondly, I absolutely have no issue with the people who believe that life should be enjoyed to its fullest. But on the other hand life is full of surprises, we should be ready to face ups and downs of it. No one knows what happens next. For example, we might have health issues, accident or some emergency issues. We should have a backup to handle in such situation. So I conclude, saying the backup for future is so important. Enjoying in life is good but we should understand & wisely spend for enjoinment and savings.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinion on how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their money. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe enjoying with the money earned, others want it to
be saved
for the future. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the savings point of view.
Firstly
,
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some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wish to enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with what they earn. According to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they earn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
them to enjoy and there is no second chance to enjoy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they wish to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
enjoinment
.
Secondly
, I
absolutely
have no issue with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
should
be enjoyed
to its fullest.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
on the other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is full of surprises, we should be ready to face ups and downs of it. No one knows what happens
next
.
For example
, we might have health issues, accident or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
emergency issues. We should have a backup to handle in such situation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I conclude, saying the backup for future is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. Enjoying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should understand &
wisely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
enjoinment
and savings.

IELTS essay Some people think it is better to spend and enjoy their money once they earn it. Others think it is better to save their money and enjoy it in the future. Which stand do you agree with and why? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
174 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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