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Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities? mNVN
These days, shopping is become the leisure pursuit (recreational activity) for youthful. There are several reasons behind that, however, they need to be motivated indubitably to invest their time in productive activities. One of the reasons behind spending spare time over shopping is one’s fondness to have everything that is trending currently even though he indeed does not need so. Take clothes, mobile phones, as well as mobile case that youth change in no time, for example. What is more, they get allured by promotional offers or even it can be presented this way: the effective marketing tactics. If one uses smart phone, for instance, then at certain interval of time he keeps on getting notifications from online shopping portals such as Amazon, Flipkart, Myntra or many more and in free time youth is accustomed to search something that interest them there and end up buying spending on any product. One more ground cannot be overlooked and that is compulsive buying disorder, namely retail therapy. And on a huge spectrum it has been surveyed that millions of youth shop because they are in stress or anxiety, and they feel better when they occupy themselves in shopping. In my view, youth should be enlightened the right path for good. If they are not diverted towards being engaged in something productive or fruitful task then they will not only keep on wasting their time but also money. Even in current time EMI easy monthly installment, is the most lucrative mode of payment youth get attracted to. Due to that they gradually increase debt in their lives and become heavily indebted. In addition to that, on given motivation they might get indulged into working on their skill, such as communication, presentation, time management and many more that make them future ready. Above all, it is a habit and one cannot get rid of this easily except one is inspirited incessantly to do that. In conclusion, retail therapy as well as impactful marketing promotions are the most reasons in order that youth shop a lot in their leisure, and despite it is habit they can be pulled out of this provided that they are encouraged and it has to be done as this conduct leads to squander their money and time.
These days, shopping
is become
the leisure pursuit (recreational activity) for youthful. There are several reasons behind that,
however
, they need to
be motivated
indubitably
to invest their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in productive activities.

One of the reasons behind spending spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
over shopping is one’s fondness to have everything
that is
trending
currently
even though
he
indeed
does not need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. Take clothes, mobile phones,
as well
as mobile case that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
for example
.
What is more
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
allured by promotional offers or even it can
be presented
this way: the effective marketing tactics. If one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
smart phone,
for instance
, then at certain interval of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
on getting notifications from online shopping portals such as Amazon, Flipkart,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Myntra
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more and in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
is
The verb 'is' is used with the gerund form: "accustomed to searching".
accustomed to search
something that interest them there and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up buying spending on any product. One more ground cannot
be overlooked
and
that is
compulsive buying disorder,
namely
retail therapy. And on a huge spectrum it has
been surveyed
that millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
shop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
or anxiety, and they feel better when they occupy themselves in shopping.

In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
should
be enlightened
the right path for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. If they are not diverted towards
being engaged
in something productive or fruitful task then they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on wasting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
money. Even in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
EMI easy monthly installment, is the most lucrative mode of payment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted to. Due to that they
gradually
increase debt in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and become
heavily
indebted.
In addition
to that, on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
motivation they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
indulged into working on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, such as communication, presentation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them future ready.
Above all
, it is a habit and one cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of this
easily
except one
is inspirited
incessantly
to do that.

In conclusion
, retail therapy
as well
as impactful marketing promotions are the most reasons in order that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
shop a lot in their leisure, and despite it is habit they can
be pulled
out of this provided that they
are encouraged
and it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be done
as this conduct leads to squander their money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay Shopping is the favorite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
377 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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