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Some people think it is a bad idea for parents to give expensive presents for children. What is your opinion?

Some people think it is a bad idea for parents to give expensive presents for children. What is your opinion? awqYG
Technology is a crucial tool for communication in modern times. It is flourishing in each and every field of communication. Though this invention has changed the way people interact around the world, it has both positive and negative impact on the relationship of people. To embark on, with regard to the positive development, technological advancement has made communication between organizations more convenient and time-saving. Many companies and organizations use tools like social media, email and forum to influence a larger number of audience. This also serves as an advanced mode of leaning since schools adopt the method of smart classrooms. With the availability of Ecommerce, freelance websites, social media marketing, people can easily buy and sell products and services with effortless communication. On the other hand, the drawbacks of technology on the relationship of people cannot be ignored. Though technology has advanced greatly, it still lacks the emotional touch of communication. It has affected the love and affection people craved with communication. Millennial today are more fascinated by the virtual world, thereby forgetting the practical side of life. Modern modes of communication is making people busy and less productive. Sharing personal information of social media also invade people’s privacy. For example, individuals spending hours on social media interaction interacting with people from around the world and wasting their valuable time. In fact, family vacation which was previously a private affair has now become a public affair. To sum up, communication technology can be a blessing or a curse depending upon how people make use of it. Even though it is an easy method of interaction, the relationships formed through technological interaction lack in trust and emotion. Hence, people should give preference to face-to-face communication.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
is a crucial tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
in modern times. It is flourishing in each and every field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. Though this invention has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
interact around the world, it has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the relationship of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To embark on, with regard to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development, technological advancement has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
between organizations more convenient and time-saving.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and organizations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
tools like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, email and forum to influence a larger number of audience. This
also
serves as an advanced mode of leaning since schools adopt the method of smart classrooms. With the availability of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ecommerce
, freelance websites,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
marketing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and sell products and services with effortless communication.

On the other hand
, the drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
on the relationship of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. Though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has advanced
greatly
, it
still
lacks the emotional touch of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. It has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and affection
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
craved with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. Millennial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are more fascinated by the virtual world, thereby forgetting the practical side of life. Modern modes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
busy and less productive. Sharing personal information of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
also
invade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
privacy.
For example
, individuals spending hours on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
interaction interacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from around the world and wasting their valuable time. In fact, family vacation which was previously a private affair has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become a public affair.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can be a blessing or a curse depending upon how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of it.
Even though
it is an easy method of interaction, the relationships formed through technological interaction lack in trust and emotion.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should give preference to face-to-face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
.
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IELTS essay Some people think it is a bad idea for parents to give expensive presents for children. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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