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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. g5YVO
Many people think that it is better to stimulate a feeling in junior to compete with each other. Some others say we should lead kids to do team working and perform in groups. In my opinion, output in group working is considerably increased, also improving occurs faster. Despite doing in teams, competition could distract concentration or induce stress and depression. According to the second side, co-working can make a mood of constructing. In other words, it improves a common goal that is confirmed by all members. Workers in a team have the same beliefs, so try to achieve them with each other. This integrates the energy and brain capacity to develop. Even though, social interaction will be boosted and inspires happiness. Hopefulness and motivation affect positively to make feel better and gain more energy. On the other hand, in the group, no one thinks about win or lose. They know efforts belong to all of them so that decreases stress level. However, less anxiety results in a beneficial operation. Another side is about who think competition sense would conduct children mind to do better. But, it could make them behave aggressively. It is demonstrated by scientific researches that thinking about achieving or losing in most of the condition cause aggression. Moreover, competition, especially in children, makes the stressful situation and the receive destruction instead of developing. Finally, any fail can create hostile relation between them, although kids need a friendly connection. In conclusion, co-working and operating in a company cause improvement in brain ability, sociality and help them to be a purposeful person. While competition damages the incentives and affects moods.
Many
people
think
that it is better to stimulate a feeling in junior to compete with each
other
.
Some
others say we should lead kids to do team working and perform in groups. In my opinion, output in group working is
considerably
increased,
also
improving occurs faster. Despite doing in teams,
competition
could distract concentration or induce
stress
and depression.

According to the second side, co-working can
make
a mood of constructing. In
other
words, it
improves
a common goal that
is confirmed
by all members. Workers in a team have the same beliefs,
so
try to achieve them with each
other
. This integrates the energy and brain capacity to develop.
Even though
, social interaction will
be boosted
and inspires happiness. Hopefulness and motivation affect
positively
to
make
feel better and gain more energy.

On the
other
hand, in the group, no one
thinks
about win or lose. They know efforts belong to all of them
so
that decreases
stress
level.
However
, less anxiety results in a beneficial operation.

Another side is about who
think
competition
sense would conduct children
mind to do
better.
But
, it could
make
them behave
aggressively
. It
is demonstrated
by scientific researches that thinking about achieving or losing in most of the condition cause aggression.
Moreover
,
competition
,
especially
in children,
makes
the stressful situation and the
receive
destruction
instead
of developing.
Finally
, any fail can create hostile relation between them, although kids need a friendly connection.

In conclusion
, co-working and operating in a
company
cause improvement in brain ability,
sociality
and
help
them to be a purposeful person. While
competition
damages the incentives and affects moods.
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IELTS essay Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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