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Some people think it is a bad idea for parents to give expensive presents for children. What is your opinion?

Some people think it is a bad idea for parents to give expensive presents for children. What is your opinion? VBld6
Economic progress is a significant goal for every government worldwide. Some leaders argue that it is the most essential task that should be achieved. However, according to some individuals, there are also other types of progress that are equally important for a nation. This essay will explain why several governments argue that economic growth is of the utmost importance and also explore reasons why other types of progress are deemed to be just as significant. To begin with, the economy of a particular nation is a measurement on how advanced it is in terms of general development. This is the reason why most governments deem / consider it as the number one priority when it comes to goal achievement. An example of it would be the comparison between a third world nation and a first world country. A third world country is ranked lower in terms of development compared to a first world country because it has lower GDP, which is an economic measurement of the performance of a country. On the other hand, some individuals argue that there are other types of progress that are also as important as economic progress. An example of this would be educational progress. To some people, educational progress leads to economic progress. When governments prioritise the improvement of the educational system, it will produce professionals who secure better paying jobs. They will provide a good return on investment for the country by paying higher taxes. In conclusion, economic progress is a government priority because it gives them a better position in terms of worldwide rankings. At the same time other types of progress, such as educational development, are similarly important because it culminates in economic progress as well. In my opinion, economic progress and the other types of progress should be viewed as equals because improvement does not only result from improving one aspect of a nation; rather it requires the development of various aspects of life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
is a significant goal for every
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government
worldwide.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
leaders argue that it is the most essential task that should
be achieved
.
However
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals, there are
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
that are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a
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nation
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth is of the utmost importance and
also
explore reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
are deemed
to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as significant.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the economy of a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
is a measurement on how advanced it is in terms of general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
. This is the reason why most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
deem / consider it as the number one priority when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to goal achievement. An example of it would be the comparison between a third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and a
first
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world
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country
. A third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
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country
is ranked
lower in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
compared to a
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has lower GDP, which is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
measurement of the performance of a country.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals argue that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
that are
also
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
. An example of this would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
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educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
. When
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governments
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
the improvement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
system, it will produce professionals who secure better paying jobs. They will provide a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
return on investment for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
by paying higher taxes.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
priority
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives them a better position in terms of worldwide rankings. At the same time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, are
similarly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it culminates in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
as well
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
should
be viewed
as equals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
improvement does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
result from improving one aspect of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
;
rather
it requires the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of various aspects of life.
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IELTS essay Some people think it is a bad idea for parents to give expensive presents for children. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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