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some people think is better for children to be teached at home. others disagree discuss the advantages of both and give your own opinion

some people think is better for children to be teached at home. others disagree discuss the advantages of both and give your own opinion n61a7
The argument over whether learning at home or at school is better for children has not been settled yet. Whereas home education offers better protection with individual learning and opportunities for families to bond, schools have a superior range of material and human resources. Ultimately, I think the school experience is best for children. There are several advantages for children who learn at home. Firstly, they can spend more time with their parents and siblings. Many social problems are associated with families not spending enough quality time together. Teaching children at home also provides them with an individualised learning environment. Instruction is custom-designed and moves at the child’s own pace and in accordance with his or her individual learning style. Finally, home schooling protects children from bullies and others who might be a bad influence. On the other hand, the school environment also offers advantages for children. Schools encourage children to socialise with their peers and learn how to cope with gossip, bullying and peer pressure. In addition, children will receive better tuition across a range of disciplines, as schools have teachers who are trained in special subjects. What is more, schools provide better access to physical resources such as sports equipment, musical instruments and library books. I believe that children are better off in a school environment. Although family time and individual learning are important, the range of expertise and resources that schools offer cannot be matched in the home. School environments may present difficult social situations, but so too does the real world and children must learn to navigate these on their own.
The argument over whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
at home or at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for children

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
has
not
been settled
yet
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
home education offers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
protection
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
with


individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and opportunities for families to bond,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have a superior

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
range
of material and human resources.
Ultimately
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
experience is

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
best
for children.

There are several advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who learn at home.
Firstly
, they can

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
spend
more time with their parents and siblings.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
social problems are
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
associated


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
with
families not spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
quality time together. Teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
home


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
also
provides them with an
Possible spelling mistake. 'individualised' is British English.
individualised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Instruction
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
is


custom-designed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
at the child’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace and in accordance with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
style.
Finally
,
This word is normally spelled as one.
home schooling
protects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from bullies and

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
others
who might be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
also
offers advantages for children.

Schools encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
with their peers and learn how to cope with

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
gossip
, bullying and peer pressure.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
tuition


across a range of disciplines, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have teachers who
are trained
in special

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
subjects
.
What is more
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
access to physical resources such
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
as


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
sports
equipment, musical instruments and library books.

I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
off in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Although
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
family


time and individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, the range of expertise and resources that

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
schools
offer cannot
be matched
in the home.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environments
may
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
present


difficult social situations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
too does the real world and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn to

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
navigate
these on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
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IELTS essay some people think is better for children to be teached at home. others disagree discuss the advantages of both and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
23 paragraphs
265 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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