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Most artist earn low salaries. Governments should support artist in order for them to continue their work

Most artist earn low salaries. Governments should support artist in order for them to continue their work 56Bgp
As artists do not earn a lot, they need fund and sponsors to create new pieces. While some people believe that governments should provide artists with financial support others do not. This essay will argue that governments should not financially funds artists as they get money from the private sector and should put those resources into the public part Different private companies sponsor artists to continue their work. Each year big companies had put money aside to support artists. For example, Apple uses more than 2 billion dollars to support artists and their newer pieces. With this in mind, it can be seen that artists are received enough money form the private companies to continue their work. Public sector such as health and education needs financial supports more than arts. These services can cost a lot and need to be available to everyone. For example, in 2019 Italy stop giving money to artists and with that money five new public schools were created in low-income neighbours. So, there are more important sectors that need the money that the arts. In conclusion, despite the fact that artists do not earn a lot, they do receive cash from private groups, so there the government should not support them. Instead, that fund should be used in the public sector.
As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
do not earn a lot, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
fund and sponsors to create new pieces.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
with financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
others do not. This essay will argue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should not
financially
The verb 'should' requires base form of the verb: "fund"
funds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
and should put those resources into the public
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
part


This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
sponsor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
to continue their work. Each year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
had put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
aside to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
.
For example
, Apple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
more than 2 billion dollars to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
and their newer pieces. With this in mind, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
are received
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
form the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to continue their work.

Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
such as health and education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supports
more than arts. These services can cost a lot and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be available to everyone.
For example
, in 2019 Italy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
and with that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
five new public schools
were created
in low-income
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, there are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that the arts.

In conclusion
, despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
do not earn a lot, they do receive cash from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
groups,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
them.
Instead
, that fund should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
.

IELTS essay Most artist earn low salaries. Governments should support artist in order for them to continue their work

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
216 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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