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Some people think in order to succeed in life people need to acquire university education, while others say that it is not true.

Some people think in order to succeed in life people need to acquire university education, while others say that it is not true. W5QEW
Education is very important in our life. Some people think that in order to succeed in life people need to acquire university education, while others believe that it is not true. In my opinion this essay intends both positive as well as negative. First of all, why some people think that to be succeed we need to obtain university education. The education of university is very important because many people interested in university education and they give more knowledge about university level degree. Many people are not interested to go abroad and they study in universities. On the other hand, why others argue it is not true because many people interested to go abroad because university education are very long and some people feel bored in 3 years and many people are not interested in university education. Nowadays, many students after completed senior secondary education they go to ielts center for go to abroad for higher education. In my conclusion, no doubt that some people think that to be successful to need to get university education, while others say it is not true. In my point of view university education is not necessary.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that in order to succeed in life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, while others believe that it is not true. In my opinion this essay intends both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that to be
Consider using a past participle here: "succeeded".
succeed
we need to obtain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
education and
they give more knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
level degree.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
to go
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
abroad and
they study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, why others argue it is not true
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
to go abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
long and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel bored in 3 years and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students after completed senior secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
they go to
Possible spelling mistake found.
ielts
center for
There isn't usually a preposition before "abroad". Did you mean "go abroad"?
go to abroad
for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. In my conclusion, no doubt that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that to be successful to need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, while others say it is not true. In my point of view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is not necessary.

IELTS essay Some people think in order to succeed in life people need to acquire university education, while others say that it is not true.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
193 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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