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Some people think in order to be successful person ambition is a positive character. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think in order to be successful person ambition is a positive character. VE3OD
According to some people that ambition is a positive character trait that makes people to succeed. I oppose this view and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraph. First and foremost ambition is the basis of success. Every person has this character trait, but not many manage to accept it. Ambition is like the motivation that people use to achieve success. For example, an entrepreneur who runs a small business but with the help of ambition he or she expands his business to global markets. Everyone is interested in one question "how". They create business plans and divide them into several stages, separate a certain amount, hire the best investors and train their employees. Thus, they achieve success and this is all with the help of ambition. Furthermore an ambitious person has many good characters like perseverance, hard work, tolerance and most importantly they do not complain about life. An ambitious person always has new ideas that make life more interesting and they strive to achieve the best. Even when they are successful they never stop and move forward. Thanks to this, humanity is still alive. Eventually I believe that all inventions which were created by strangling Moreover ambition has an important role in our life.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambition
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
character trait that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to succeed. I oppose this view and my reasons will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the following paragraph.

First
and foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambition
is the basis of success. Every person has this character trait,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
Possible agreement error. The noun manage seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much manage", "a good deal of manage".
many manage
to accept it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Ambition
is like the motivation that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to achieve success.
For example
, an entrepreneur who runs a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambition
he or she expands his business to global markets. Everyone
is interested
in one question
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
how
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. They create business plans and divide them into several stages, separate a certain amount, hire the best investors and train their employees.
Thus
, they achieve success and this is all with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of ambition.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
an ambitious person has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
characters like perseverance,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work, tolerance and most
importantly
they do not complain about life. An ambitious person always has new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
interesting and
they strive to achieve the best. Even when they are successful they never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward. Thanks to this, humanity is
still
alive.

Eventually
I believe that all inventions which
were created
by strangling
Moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ambition
has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our life.

IELTS essay Some people think in order to be successful person ambition is a positive character.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
208 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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