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Some people believe that economic development is only the way to end the world poverty and hunger issue. Other says that economic development leads to environmental damage and it should be stopped. discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that economic development is only the way to end the world poverty and hunger issue. Other says that economic development leads to environmental damage and it should be stopped. mLoq1
Economic growth is one of the most significant elements in the development of a nation therefore a section of society asserts that in order to demolish destitution and starvation in globe, there should be progress in the finance sector. While another school of thought opposes this notion by saying that this evolution leads to environmental destruction. Hence, it should be halt. I agree with former view. However, this essay will elaborate both views and justification for my perception in subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, people who support the idea of stopping progress in finance field have their own justification. A considerable reason is, shortage of natural resources. In other words, humans use resources, such as water, oil, wood to fulfill their requirements, also earn capital from it. For example, a survey was conducted by 'The Moscow Times' that more than millions of trees were cut every year for the production of paper and furniture, later use for trade and contribute in economic progress. Thus, this is the reason to prohibit financial development. Paradoxically, I believe that progress in economic and solve the problem of poverty and hunger as well. The first and foremost aspect is, employment. To put it in a different way, if a country's economy develops, numerous companies established their branches over there, which leads to job opportunities for people and decrement in the poverty rate. Moreover, due to this type of development, high income tax will be paid by public. The government can invest this wealth to fulfill the dearth of food. Therefore, it is an appropriate approach. To conclude, even do finance progress cause various environmental problems, but I opened that the importance of this type of development cannot be neglected
Economic growth is one of the most significant elements in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of a nation
therefore
a section of society asserts that in order to demolish destitution and starvation in globe, there should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
in the finance sector.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
another school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
opposes this notion by saying that this evolution leads to environmental destruction.
Hence
, it should be halt. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with former view.
However
, this essay will elaborate both views and justification for my perception in subsequent paragraphs. To commence with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of stopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
in finance field have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
justification. A considerable reason is, shortage of natural resources.
In other words
, humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
resources, such as water, oil, wood to fulfill their requirements,
also
earn capital from it.
For example
, a survey
was conducted
by 'The Moscow Times' that more than millions of trees were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
every year for the production of paper and furniture, later
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for trade and contribute in economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
.
Thus
, this is the reason to prohibit financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
Paradoxically
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
in economic and solve the problem of poverty and hunger
as well
. The
first
and foremost aspect is, employment. To put it in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way, if a country's economy develops, numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
established their branches over there, which leads to job opportunities for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and decrement in the poverty rate.
Moreover
, due to this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
, high income tax will
be paid
by public. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can invest this wealth to fulfill the dearth of food.
Therefore
, it is an appropriate approach.
To conclude
, even do finance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
cause various environmental problems,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I opened that the importance of this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
cannot be
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
neglected
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IELTS essay Some people believe that economic development is only the way to end the world poverty and hunger issue. Other says that economic development leads to environmental damage and it should be stopped.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
284 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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