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Some people think children should be sent to nursery schools (Kindergartens) before being sent to primary education. Others think it is not necessary. Discuss both views and gave your opinion.

Some people think children should be sent to nursery schools (Kindergartens) before being sent to primary education. Others think it is not necessary. m55Gr
People nowadays believe that children should attend nursery schools before beginning primary school. Although some people believe that children should attend kindergarten. However, I agree with those who believe as it is necessary because it will assist children in socialising and learning new skills for a brighter future. On the other hand, kindergartens are not completely helpful for children during early stage of their life. During childhood, children wanted to play more and spent some precious time with their family. Thus, it is better for them to enjoy all day long in their home before sending them to school. Attending kindergartens at the early age of life is putting some pressure on children, ultimately, increased stress levels and make them aggressive in behaviour. Moreover, fees of kindergartens are skyrocketing, which will tear the pocket of young adults and specially it will put more pressure on lower income families. It is better to prepare children before school by giving them basic education at home with the help of alphabets and number books which will help them to gain confidence to go primary school. On the one hand, people who believe that kindergartens as one of the most important levels of education with various benefits. In kindergarten, children are getting a chance to interact other children which will help them to grow their personality and learning some new subject. Children who are attending kindergarten are able to learn skills such as cooperation, problem solving, learning new language to communicate in a group of children. As a result, they will be able to learn how to help each other and even they will do some activities by their which makes them independent. In addition, they are getting the chance to learn some of the basic alphabets and the numbers which will help them to grasp education of primary schools and attend school with confidence. To summarise, sending children to nursery schools before sending them to primary school will put more pressure on the children at a young age. However, if their children can attend kindergartens at an early age, they will reap more benefits in the future and gain confidence to attend primary school.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
beginning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kindergarten
.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
as it is necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
and learning new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for a brighter future.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kindergartens
are not completely helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
during early stage of their life. During childhood,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
wanted to play more and spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
precious time with their family.
Thus
, it is better for them to enjoy all day long in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
sending them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kindergartens
at the early age of life is putting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pressure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
ultimately
, increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
levels and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them aggressive in
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
Moreover
, fees of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kindergartens
are skyrocketing, which will tear the pocket of young adults and
specially
it will put more pressure on lower income families. It is better to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
by giving them basic education at home with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of alphabets and number books which will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to gain confidence to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
school.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kindergartens
as one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
levels of education with various benefits. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kindergarten
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are getting a chance to interact other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
which will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to grow their personality and learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new subject.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
who are attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kindergarten
are able to learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as cooperation, problem solving, learning new language to communicate in a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
As a result
, they will be able to learn how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
each other and even they will do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities by their which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them independent.
In addition
, they are getting the chance to learn
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
basic alphabets and the numbers which will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to grasp education of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with confidence.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to nursery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
sending them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will put more pressure on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at a young age.
However
, if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kindergartens
at an early age, they will reap more benefits in the future and gain confidence to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
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IELTS essay Some people think children should be sent to nursery schools (Kindergartens) before being sent to primary education. Others think it is not necessary.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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  • Some people think children should be sent to nursery schools (Kindergartens) before being sent to primary education. Others think it is not necessary. Discuss both views and gave your opinion.