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Some people think children should allow to make choices and some not?

Some people think children should allow to make choices and some not? 0A5YB
In today's modern world, independence is a key feature to learn from children to elderas. Young ones want to make their own choice for the prospect in which they are involved. But views of society become differential over here. In this essay, I will discuss people's perception about the children's decisions in their matters. Since the children are allowed to make their own choice about the day-to-day tasks such as food, shelter or entertainment. Allowing them everything what they ask for, may lead them to be selfish. Many of them start demanding more because they will be familiar that their wishes will be fulfilled. This may lead to society of individuals those just think of their desires. For example, 8 year boy ask for a car after watching action movie. This could lead to conflicts among child and family member. So it become essential for parents to put some restrictions.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern world, independence is a key feature to learn from children to
Possible spelling mistake found.
elderas
. Young ones want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice for the prospect in which they
are involved
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
views of society become differential over here. In this essay, I will discuss
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's perception about the children's decisions in their matters.

Since the children are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice about the day-to-day tasks such as food, shelter or entertainment. Allowing them everything what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
, may lead them to be selfish.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
demanding more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will be familiar that their wishes will
be fulfilled
. This may lead to society of individuals those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of their desires.
For example
, 8 year
Possible agreement error. The noun 'boy' seems to be countable, so consider using: "boys".
boy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
a car after watching action movie. This could lead to conflicts among child and family member.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
essential for parents to put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restrictions.
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IELTS essay Some people think children should allow to make choices and some not?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
150 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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