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Advertising is enabled or not.

Advertising is enabled or not. g5X9a
I think that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. I think people who think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it are not be aware of we buy things that advertising much. For example in Japan, NISSAN and TOYOTA are selling many cars in Japan. I think most of Japanese people buy these cars. And I often see these company's advertisement on TV or YouTube. So I think many people are effected by the advertisement. But people who don't be aware of it would think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. I think that the big company became big because of advertisement. For example, in a supermarket, I often buy popular things. And I often think that the thing that is not popular is dubious. So I don't want to buy such things even if it is very cheap. I think that the thing that is often advertised is so safety that people want to buy. But few advertisement things are thought that not safety by me. So, if the company advertise their things many times, they will be thought be safety. And many people will buy such things many times, and much income will be able to advertise the company's things. So, advertisement will produce good cycle. And I think companies should increase their advertising. Because of these reasons, I think that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things.
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that advertising is
extremely
successful at persuading us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things.

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that advertising is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
common that we no longer pay attention to it are not
Consider using a past participle here: "been".
be
aware of we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things that advertising much.
For example
in Japan, NISSAN and TOYOTA are selling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cars in Japan. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
most of Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
these cars. And I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
on TV or YouTube.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are effected
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who don't be aware of it would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that advertising is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
common that we no longer pay attention to it.

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
For example
, in a supermarket, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
popular things. And I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that the thing
that is
not popular is dubious.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I don't want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
such things even if it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that the thing
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
advertised is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
safety that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
things are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that not safety by me.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
advertise their things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times, they will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
be safety. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
such things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times, and much income will be able to advertise the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
will produce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
cycle. And I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should increase their advertising.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of these reasons, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that advertising is
extremely
successful at persuading us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things.
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IELTS essay Advertising is enabled or not.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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