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Some people think certain old buildings are worth preserving more than the other ones. Which types of old buildings should be preserved？Do you think the advantages of preserving old buildings outweigh the disadvantages

Some people think certain old buildings are worth preserving more than the other ones. Which types of old buildings should be preserved？Do you think the advantages of preserving old buildings outweigh the disadvantages jV7AX
There is a prevailing opinion that some old buildings are more worthwhile to be better kept than others. Personally, I agree with that and I believe that maintaining some types of old buildings brings more benefits than drawbacks. Several types of old buildings deserve being well kept for their rich historical value and cultural significance. Take the Arch of Triump as an example, it was constructed in memory of the glorious victory of Napoleon. In addition, it's undoubtedly necessary to maintain those old buildings with unique constructual features such as the Great Wall which is entitled to be one of the greatest wonders in the world. The downside of the preservation is noticeable. As most old buildings are virtually vulnerable, every year, governments have to spend amounts of money on their maintenance, while this fund will increase taxpayers' burden. However，there are two major advantages. The first and foremost advantage is promoting the diversity of culture. Since it can be seen as the most important character of humanity, we should try to keep it whatever it costs. Governments can introduce laws and regulations to help preserve old buildings and prevent them from damages. Besides, many old buildings have potential to be tranformed into tourist attractions to make some fortunes which can boost local economy. In conclusion, some types of old buildings are prior to be kept. In the tide of globalization, it is essential to preserve old buildings to protect our diversity of culture.
There is a prevailing opinion that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are more worthwhile to be better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
than others.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that and I believe that maintaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
brings more benefits than drawbacks.

Several types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
deserve
If 'deserve' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to be".
being
well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
for their rich historical value and cultural significance. Take the Arch of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Triump
as an example, it
was constructed
in memory of the glorious victory of Napoleon.
In addition
, it's
undoubtedly
necessary to maintain those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
with unique
Possible spelling mistake found.
constructual
features such as the Great Wall which
is entitled
to be one of the greatest wonders in the world.

The downside of the preservation is noticeable. As most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are
virtually
vulnerable, every year,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend amounts of money on their maintenance, while this fund will increase taxpayers' burden.

The character '，' is not a standard comma, although it can look like a comma. Use "However, there".
However，there
are two major advantages. The
first
and foremost advantage is promoting the diversity of culture. Since it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
character of humanity, we should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it whatever it costs.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
can introduce laws and regulations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from damages.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
have potential to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
tranformed
into tourist attractions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fortunes which can boost local economy.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are prior to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
. In the tide of globalization, it is essential to preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
to protect our diversity of culture.
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IELTS essay Some people think certain old buildings are worth preserving more than the other ones. Which types of old buildings should be preserved？Do you think the advantages of preserving old buildings outweigh the disadvantages

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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