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Some people think aged people are not given respect and enough facilities, What are the causes and effects of the same?

Some people think aged people are not given respect and enough facilities, What are the causes and effects of the same? 6NJj3
It is a fact that aging is a sequential process in every living organism, which needs to weakness, debilitation and death. Certain group of people consider that senior population is not provided with enough dignity and necessary living provisions globally. This essay analyses the possible causes and effects of the same. To begin with, aging always happens with increased responsibility. In today's expensive lifesyle, breadwinners of a nuclear family system run out of time in earning for the children which put the seniors to be ignored. The next undeniable factor is conflicts arising because of generation gaps. For instance when a young wife does not meet the expectations of the family elders, that generates the room for difference in opinions. Another valuable point is decreased productivity that associated with reduced phyical fitness. Hence, they cannot be expected to work full-time to support the family. Senile medical care is highly expensive with increased demand of drugs, equipments and other medical accessories. For instance, a diabetic senior person requires ongoing medical tracking not only for his blood sugar levels, but also annual check-up for cardiac, ophthal, neurological, renal systems and so on. Certain mobility issues may require modifying the domestic facilities such as building a ramp, extra handrailsband wheel chair access may consume a huge sum of money. On the other hand, it adversely affects the socially unsecured geriatric community with increased levels of anxiety. Furthermore it is a dangerously downfall situation for the younger generation to get disconnected from the senior society. It is a sad truth that because of geriatric negligence, the decreased health care facilities may lead to increased morbidity and mortality in aged. Analysing in depth of both the causes and effects behind senile negligence, i am concluding that it is highly unethical towards the aged and unhealthy for the future generations if the same practice keeps continuing.
It is a fact that aging is a sequential process in every living organism, which needs to weakness, debilitation and death. Certain group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
population is not provided with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
dignity and necessary living provisions globally. This essay analyses the possible causes and effects of the same.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, aging always happens with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
responsibility. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's expensive
Possible spelling mistake found.
lifesyle
, breadwinners of a nuclear family system run out of time in earning for the children which put the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seniors
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. The
next
undeniable factor is conflicts arising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of generation gaps.
For instance
when a young wife does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the expectations of the family elders, that generates the room for difference in opinions. Another valuable point
is decreased
productivity that associated with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
Possible spelling mistake found.
phyical
fitness.
Hence
, they cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to work full-time to support the family. Senile medical care is
highly
expensive with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
demand of drugs, equipments and other medical accessories.
For instance
, a diabetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
person requires ongoing medical tracking not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for his blood sugar levels,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
annual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
-up for cardiac,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ophthal
, neurological, renal systems and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Certain mobility issues may require modifying the domestic facilities such as building a ramp, extra
Possible spelling mistake found.
handrailsband
wheel chair access may consume a huge sum of money.

On the other hand
, it
adversely
affects the
socially
unsecured geriatric community with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
levels of anxiety.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
it is a
You used an adverb ('dangerously') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('downfall') instead of another adjective.
dangerously downfall
situation for the younger generation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
disconnected from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
society. It is a sad truth that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of geriatric negligence, the decreased health care facilities may lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
morbidity and mortality in aged.

Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
in depth of both the causes and effects behind senile negligence,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am concluding that it is
highly
unethical towards the aged and unhealthy for the future generations if the same practice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
continuing.
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IELTS essay Some people think aged people are not given respect and enough facilities, What are the causes and effects of the same?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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