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Explain the influences of the media on our lives

Explain the influences of the media on our lives 2570k
It is commonly believe that our life has became more aware than the past owning to some technologies like media. In fact, they have revolutionized communication. All means of media such as broadcast and digital media includes radio, television, internet, cellphone and so on have positive and negative effects in our life. For instance, transferring news has been accelerated. In the other words, broadcasting information happens simultaneously in all over the world. Additionally, parents should control their children in ground of some inappropriate contents which some programs have. As an illustration, children are inundated with dangerous information on the internet. In another simple example, there are many aggressive behaviours in some movies that are not suitable for a range of special ages. It can be harmful on children's mental and obviously has bad effects on their physical health too. In my view, the mass media should be used with caution. They have much more power in misrepresenting events and conversely. All in all, people should remain well informed that the media with all its advantages can be dangerous and harmful at the same time. Afterwards training the healthy use of the media is very important in communities.
It is
commonly
Consider using a past participle here: "believed".
believe
that our life has
Use past participle here: "become".
became
more aware than the past owning to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
technologies like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. In fact, they have revolutionized communication. All means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
such as broadcast and digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
includes radio, television, internet, cellphone and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects in our life.
For instance
, transferring news has
been accelerated
. In the other words, broadcasting information happens
simultaneously
in all over the world.
Additionally
, parents should control their children in ground of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
inappropriate contents which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
programs have. As an illustration, children
are inundated
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
information on the internet. In another simple example, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aggressive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
movies that are not suitable for a range of special ages. It can be harmful on children's mental and
obviously
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects on their physical health too. In my view, the mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
with caution. They have much more power in misrepresenting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and
conversely
.

All in all,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should remain
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well informed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
with all its advantages can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and harmful at the same time. Afterwards training the healthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in communities.
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IELTS essay Explain the influences of the media on our lives

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
197 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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