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adventurous games should be banned .Do you agree?

adventurous games should be banned. Do you agree? wnoLr
In today’s world, it is very common to witness people participating in various types of adventurous sports and activities. In spite of their growing popularity, a section of society believes that, such life threatening games must be prohibited. I completely disagree with the above mentioned idea. The essay ahead, will explain my viewpoint with clarity. To begin with, Adventurous sports serve as a wonderful source of entertainment. Because of the thrill, excitement, zeal and entertainment involved in these activities, people tend to participate in such games, quite frequently. For example, many people along with their friends and family, prefer to go for river rafting, rock climbing and various other adventurous activities, especially during weekends and vacations. Secondly, these activities provide a great opportunity for the youth to make a professional career and become famous. Today, many youngsters undergo formal training to develop certain skill sets required to play adventurous sports professionally and compete internationally. Taking Sports as a career, gives them a chance to be financially stable as well as globally popular. For instance, many wwe wrestlers and grand prix sportsmen are not only rich but also famous. Finally, experiencing risky sports helps to develop lots of skill sets and overall personality. Participation in these games make athletes mentally stronger, physically energetic and helps them to develop the uncanny ability to take risks in life. Such people tend to have a much stronger personality than a normal layman. To explain this further, boxers and wrestlers are generally much stronger and confident than others. To conclude, I believe that adventurous sports must continue forever, as these activities help people in busting stress, lay a foundation for a prosperous career and develop a strong persona. s
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common to witness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
participating in various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
their growing popularity, a section of society believes that, such life threatening games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be prohibited
. I completely disagree with the above mentioned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. The essay ahead, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my viewpoint with clarity.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
serve as a wonderful source of entertainment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the thrill, excitement, zeal and entertainment involved in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to participate in such games, quite
frequently
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
along with their friends and family, prefer to go for river rafting, rock climbing and various other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
especially
during weekends and vacations.

Secondly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
provide a great opportunity for the youth to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a professional career and become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters undergo formal training to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
sets required to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
professionally
and compete
internationally
. Taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
as a career, gives them a chance to be
financially
stable
as well
as globally popular.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
wwe
wrestlers and grand prix sportsmen are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rich
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
.

Finally
, experiencing risky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
sets and
overall
personality. Participation in these games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
athletes mentally stronger,
physically
energetic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
the uncanny ability to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
in life. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to have a much stronger personality than a normal layman. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this
further
, boxers and wrestlers are
generally
much stronger and confident than others.

To conclude
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventurous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
continue forever, as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in busting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, lay a foundation for a prosperous career and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
develop
a strong persona.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
s
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IELTS essay adventurous games should be banned. Do you agree?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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