Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that adolescents need to do community work in their spare time without being paid. It can also benefit teens and the community. The extent to which you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that adolescents need to do community work in their spare time without being paid. It can also benefit teens and the community. The extent to which you agree or disagree. dpMQp
Children are the backbone of every country. Therefore, there are people who believe that youth should be encouraged to start social work as it will result in development of society and personal development of youth. I also believe that this motivation has more advantages than disadvantages. To begin with, social functions by children can be easily linked to personality development because, during this drive, they interact with different people, leading to polished oral skills. For example, if they start persuading rural people to send their children to school, they should have such a strong attitude with the oral skills developed to deal with different types of people there. This improved skill will help them in every field for life. Apart from this, real values ​​of life like patience, endurance, team spirit, cooperation can be learned. In addition, young minds serve the country with full enthusiasm which leads to a sense of fulfillment and self-satisfaction. This ability for them fills them with confidence and a sense of patriotism. In addition, knowing and experiencing many cultures and traditions makes their distance so wide that it adds another wing to their hat. However, as the saying goes, there is no rose without a throne. Can the shortcomings of this beginning be ignored? Children go to school, participate in nostalgic curriculum activities, endure pressure from peers, parents and teachers, and in a competitive world, they should not be expected to serve society without self-interest. Such pressure can lead to resentment. Finally, I believe that the idea of ​​a teenager working without pay is really good but proper supervision and care should be taken to avoid unpleasant consequences.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are the backbone of every country.
Therefore
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe that youth should
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
social work as it will result in development of society and personal development of youth. I
also
believe that this motivation has more advantages than disadvantages.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, social functions by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be
easily
linked to personality development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, during this drive, they interact with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, leading to polished oral
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
persuading rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to school, they should have such a strong attitude with the oral
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
developed to deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
there. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in every field for life. Apart from this, real values ​​of life like patience, endurance, team spirit, cooperation can
be learned
.
In addition
, young minds serve the country with full enthusiasm which leads to a sense of fulfillment and self-satisfaction. This ability for them fills them with confidence and a sense of patriotism.
In addition
, knowing and experiencing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cultures and traditions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their distance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
wide that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
another wing to their hat.

However
, as the saying goes, there is no rose without a throne. Can the shortcomings of this beginning be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
?
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
go to school, participate in nostalgic curriculum activities, endure pressure from peers, parents and teachers, and in a competitive world, they should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to serve society without self-interest. Such pressure can lead to resentment.

Finally
, I believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of ​​a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
working without pay is
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
proper supervision and care should
be taken
to avoid unpleasant consequences.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people believe that adolescents need to do community work in their spare time without being paid. It can also benefit teens and the community. The extent to which you agree or disagree.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    look at the two pictures showing julia grant a volunteer on a science project. Using the pictures, write a description of Julia's daily rotine. In your description, you should: begin
    Julia Grant is 21 years old and works as a volunteer on a science project in Fiji. Every morning, she gets up at 6: 00am. She starts work at 8: 00 in the morning, so she turns on her laptop while she drinks a coffee. Then, in the noon, she helps her sister to prepare the lunch and she always washes ...
  • 5band
    fine project of college and school project.
    When I was in college at that time, I was finding a project for my final exam, however, I went to my friends for involved in their group, but they said me before we will think about you. When the final exam’s time came, I ran toward my peers I said have you written my name on your list. They did not...
  • 6band
    how to use leisure time in the most effective way also becomes a big question.
    Nowadays, how to use leisure time in the most effective way also becomes a big question. Some citizen believe that boosting brain is the best way for using spare time by reading or playing some kind of puzzle games while the others argue that it is better to spend free time resting the brain and als...
  • 5.5band
    Young people less interested in healty
    Although health and fitness is extremely vital for our health. But I don't think young people are very interested in their health. Because of the fast food they eat, high technology products around them, and even bad habits they cultivate in their daily life. Although there are lots of healthy food...
  • 6band
    Tourism today creates a variety of problems
    Nowadays, environmental issues caused both by tourists and tourism-related activities have become so grave that many people insist on imposing hefty taxes on air travel and hotels for the sake of restricting the tourist inflow. I, however, disagree with this notion and believe that the authority sho...
  • 5band
    Manufacturing process of orange juice.
    The rendered illustration highlights the various stages associated with in the manufacturing of orange juice. Looking from overall perspective, it is readily apparent that this process a series of stages which initially collected the fresh orange, transferred it into the factories packed and superma...